Why Being A Grown Up Is Better Than Being A Kid

March 13, 2015March 13, 20154 Comments

Earlier this week I was dealing with a crisis. David was lying on the floor shrieking because I was forcing him to put on pants before we left the house, or some other similar form of child-torture. I told him suck it up, kid, and we pulled up his pants anyway and left the house. And about five minutes later, another similar scene ensued and I realized what I’ve always known: being a kid is a tough job. You’ve got these “grown ups” who just like to boss you around and dictate your entire life–right on down to the pants you have to wear in public.

I remember being a kid and just wishing I could be old enough to finally call the shots. And, luck of all lucks, now I AM the grown up. I get to make the rules–not just for me, but also for my tiny minions. It’s a good gig. Actually, it’s a really good gig.

Being a grown up is better than being a kid because…

You get to say “because I told you so”–the sweetest 5-word phrase that will ever pass your lips.

You get to lick out the whole bowl when you’re baking brownies. You can also eat frosting right out of the jar and nobody’s going to stop you (I may or may not have eaten entire jars of frosting. Just because.)

You don’t have a curfew.

You are allowed to use real dishes and glasses at family gatherings.

You can decide for your own dang self if you’re going to eat your veggies.

You don’t have to deal with cliques…at least not as much. Among my grown-up friends I have a jet-setter, a prom queen, a book-nerd writer, a sorority sister/cheerleader, a former professional athlete, a Dungeon Master, an artist, a homeschooling mom, a songwriter, and a business leader. Tell me which high school would foster that group of friends?

You drive a car–the ultimate form of control.

You can wear a t-shirt out in a snow storm, and nobody’s going to yammer at you to put on a coat and a hat and gloves and some boots, for pete’s sake.

You can wipe your own bottom after using the toilet.

You don’t have to feel bad if somebody isn’t sharing their favorite toy with you. You can be as selfish as you want and just buy your own if you want it so bad.

You are expected to make your own decisions rather than having them dictated to you (like, deciding whether or not you will wear pants when you leave the house today…)

You don’t have to get “pokeys” every time you visit the doctor.

You’re tall enough to ride all of the cool rides.

You don’t have to do homework or take tests (even if your kids do test your patience every minute of every day).

You can order off the “real” menu when you go out to a restaurant.

When you wear mismatched outfits that don’t make any sense, people call you a trend setter.

You get to experience the magic of childhood from the other side.

You can stay up late drinking wine and writing your blog when you’re supposed to be in bed sleeping 🙂

To all the grown ups out there: Happy Friday!

Real-World Strategies For Saving Real Families Real Money

March 6, 20152 Comments

When we followed our dreams–and Jon’s job–to Silicon Valley 7 months ago we knew we would be in for some changes. Some of the changes were welcome, like the consistent sunny-and-70-degree days. Some of the changes, however, would be challenging, like the crowds and the traffic. There is one challenge to living in Silicon Valley, however, that trumps everything else: it is so freaking expensive here.

According to several research indexes, Silicon Valley has become the #1 most expensive place to live in America. And I believe it. We feel the pinch every time we have to pay rent (which is nearly 3 times more expensive than our mortgage in Seattle), or preschool tuition (which costs more than my undergrad tuition in 2001), or the ridiculous water bill (a reflection on the area’s years-long drought).

And don’t even get me started on trying to actually own a piece of this overpriced land. The housing market here is so competitive that potential buyers literally stalk houses waiting for them to go on the market so they can pounce with their million-dollar cash offers before the dozens of other million-dollar cash offers roll in. Or, if they’re really savvy, they’ll buy the house before it’s even for sale (I have several friends who have canvassed potential neighborhoods with flyers touting their merits as human beings and potential homeowners, imploring the current homeowners to sell them their house off-market if they ever decide to move. True story). At any rate, the cost of living here is just plain stupid.

In order to help meet our budget, I’ve come up with some creative ways to save our family money. I’ve always prided myself in being a thrifty spender, and have always enjoyed the thrill of finding a good deal. Now more than ever before, I’m finding creative ways to save and spend wisely. I will now share with you, dear friend, some of my best real-world money-saving strategies:

Take your kids shopping with you
This is a simple strategy that will save you money every time you use it–plus, the more kids you have, the more potential you have to save money! First, put your kids in the shopping cart. Then, try to do your shopping. With all your kids in the cart, there will be no room for anything but bread and milk, so you’ll be sure to save money on the grocery bill. If you can’t convince your children to sit in the cart, just set them loose in the store. It will only take about two minutes before your children have caused enough havoc to make you want to run out of the store screaming so, again, you’ll save money on the groceries you didn’t have the patience to shop for. Kids: best shopping buddies EVER!

Clip coupons
Sure, you can clip coupons and actually use them in a store. However, if you coupon correctly (yes, “coupon” is a verb) then you’ll be spending 10-20 hours a week compiling your coupons, scouting out the best deals, and shopping around town for your savings. But with two little boys keeping me busy at all hours now I find that by the time I have actually clipped and organized all my coupons, there is no time left to actually go shopping. And when you don’t have time to go shopping, you don’t spend money. Problem. Solved.

Go on a family vacation
Now this may seem counter-intuitive, because vacations cost money. Just hear me out, though. Here’s how it works: plan a nice little vacation for your family. Go through the stress of organizing the trip, packing ten million extra kid items, calming crying babies and rambunctious children on an airplane or a long car ride. Try to enjoy yourself when you reach your destination, but find that you can’t actually relax because even when you’re on vacation you’re still a parent. Get through all this, and you will realize that vacations just aren’t worth it. You’ll probably never go on another vacation again (or, at least, until your darling children move out of the nest). Think of it as an upfront investment for long-term pay-outs.

Skip the car wash
Who needs to pay someone else to wash the car when your kids’ favorite game is already getting wet and playing with bubbles? I say just strip down the kids, send them out with a bucket and some sponges, and call them in when both the car AND the kids are clean. Two birds, one stone.

Eliminate gym fees
Save yourself some time and money by creating your own workout routines away from the gym. After all, you probably already have some of the best workout equipment at home: your kids. Children can be used as stretching partners, weights, or even foot holds. If you need some fit-spiration, just watch this power mama.

Let your children dress themselves
Most children I know tend to fall into one of two dressing categories: 1)They only like to wear one thing, and they will wear it every day until it withers away into a mere memory, or 2)They are tiny nudists who prefer to wear nothing at all. Either way, you’ll only need to buy your kids 1 or 2 outfits max.

So, there you have it. Real-world strategies for saving real families real money. Happy saving!

Lessons From The Laundry Pile

February 18, 2015February 18, 20158 Comments

172. That’s how many individual items composed the mountain of laundry. 172 shirts and pants and socks and towels and sheets and pairs of under-oos that needed folding and ironing and put-away-ing. Every time I looked at the massive pile I did a double-take to make sure the clothes weren’t actually multiplying before my eyes. I mean, seriously. There was so. Much. Laundry.

I wasn’t quite sure how to begin tackling Mt. Laundry, so I just sat and stared at it for a moment before digging in. I needed to formulate a game plan. As I contemplated the massive chore that lay before me, though, a funny thing happened. Not “haha funny”, but ironic funny. As I sat there trying to avoid the tedious task that lay before me, I felt an overwhelming surge of gratefulness. Let me explain.

You see, that pile of laundry was sitting there because I have laundry to do.

Each shirt, each pair of pants, each mismatched sock represents clothing that my family owns and wears every day. We have beautiful clothes that fit us properly. We have warm clothes for when it is cold outside, we have swimsuits for when we play in the water, we have rain gear to wear out in a storm. We chose our clothes from a store or received them as gifts or were given them as hand-me-downs (sorry, little brother, but this is your destiny for all eternity…or until you can start buying your own clothes). We have so many clothes that we regularly have to sort through our dressers and our closets to pick out clothes we no longer wear so we can make room for new clothes. We have so much, and I am grateful.

The sheets and towels in the pile represented extra beds that were filled in our house the last couple of weeks. Guests that traveled from faraway, exotic places (like Seattle) to visit us. Friends and family that went out of their way to spend time with us. Adventures that we shared together while they were here. We have amazing friends and family, and I am grateful.

The dress shirts I got to iron (I’m going to say “got to” instead of “had to” here because I’m on a roll. But don’t get me wrong. I despise ironing with a fiery passion.) were so my husband can look presentable at his job. His job that he loves and, I am convinced, was created to do. His job that provides so fully for our family that I do not have to work outside of our home. His job that allows me to wear yoga pants every day instead of dress shirts (can I get an Amen?). Our needs are provided for, and I am grateful.

The fact that I have clean, dry laundry points to the fact that I have a washing machine and a dryer. IN MY HOUSE. Does that not boggle your mind? I have my very own machines that do all the hard work for me. I don’t have to walk down to a river or draw water from a well, scrub clothes on a board with soap that I made with my own two hands, or even wait for my clothes to dry in nature’s time. It’s not even like my college days when I had to walk down to the basement in my dorm to put quarters in a machine or my Ireland-days when I had to walk through the rain and the mud to get laundry out of our garden shed. I have every convenience at my fingertips, and I am grateful.

But here’s the real kicker. 172 pieces of laundry means that there are people in this house that I get to love and care for each day. There are children who call me Mom and a husband who calls me Helper. And I GET to serve them every time I do a seemingly tedious task…like the laundry.

And even though meaningless tasks consume most of my days, I will be grateful. The pile of laundry that needs folding or the floor that needs vacuuming or the toilet that needs scrubbing or those mouths that need feeding represent more than the task at hand: they represent the people and the privilege behind them. Some day I may not have meaningless tasks to do or people to do them for so, in this moment, I choose to be grateful.

Exhausted, perhaps, but grateful.

DIY Paper Heart Animal Valentines

February 6, 2015Leave a comment

If you’ve been following my posts lately, then you know I was SO over January. When February 1 rolled around last weekend, I seized the opportunity to start something new. I “took down January” (recycled all of the paper snowflakes we had hanging around the house) and decided it was time to “put up February” (cover my house in hearts). Plus, since Jon was off for the day starring in his first major Hollywood blockbuster (OK, he was just an extra in a new Steve Jobs movie, but I’m sure he rocked it!) I took advantage of the quiet morning at home with the kids to do a little Valentine project.

We had gone to the library earlier in the week and checked out this cute little book, My Heart Is Like a Zoo:

It’s a rhyming book with timely similes about the many ways our heart can love. What makes the book really unique, though are the illustrations–every picture is an animal constructed entirely of hearts. There are silly seals and a rugged moose:

Eager beavers and a steady yak:

And even happy hippos sipping their juice:

Each page features a different heart animal, and my boys couldn’t get enough of them. After reading the book for about the 5,000th time that week, David suggested that we make some heart animals of our own. And, since I’m never one to shy away from a cheesy craft, I obliged. We (and by we, I mean I) set to work making our little love zoo.

Here’s a brief how-to if you want to join in the heart-animal fun:

What you need
~Paper–any paper will work, but I used a combination of construction paper and scrapbook paper. If you want more sturdy animals, use colored cardstock.
~Scissors
~Glue–glue sticks work best for this project
~Black marker
~(if you’re the perfectionist-type) Heart-shaped stencils, paper punches or die cuts

What you do
~Decide what animal you want to make. After making about a dozen of these critters, I’m convinced that you can make any animal imaginable out of hearts. If you need some inspiration, see my creations below or search Google or Pinterest for “paper heart animals” and you’ll find more animals than were on Noah’s Ark.

For instance, did you know that you could make a penguin, a blue jay, or a bear out of hearts?
Or a beaver and a fox? What about a caterpillar and a butterfly?You see, the possibilities are endless…
~Next, choose what papers you want to use for each part of the animal, and just go to town cutting out hearts! I did the good ‘ol fold-your-paper-in-half freehand method for my hearts, but you could certainly use some other more-precise technique if you have the patience for that sort of thing. Cut out hearts in many sizes and colors to use for the different parts of your animal.
~Start puzzling together your animal. Cut hearts in half to make oval shapes, turn the hearts in different directions, or cut the points off the bottom of the hearts to make triangles–it’s amazing the different shapes you can form from simple hearts! If there’s a part of your animal that doesn’t lend itself to a heart-shape, I also give you permission to just cut out whatever random shape of paper you need. You’re welcome.
~After you’ve laid out your design, glue it all together. Use a black marker to add details like a nose, mouth, or whiskers.

And that’s it! Each animal only took me a few minutes to make, so I had a whole Valentine menagerie by the time my boys had finished watching Veggie Tales (yes, I also give you permission to enchant your children with television while you get lost in kids’ crafts that they should be helping you with).

Happy Heart Day, friend!

The White Flag

February 2, 2015February 2, 20154 Comments

This weekend we finally said goodbye to January. Goodbye, and good riddance. Never in my life have I been so glad to see a month end. January 2015 was, hands-down, the most challenging 31 days I’ve ever been dealt. The entire month was just an endless string of one let down after another, one loss after another, one upheaval after another, one tearing apart of my perfect little organized, well-planned, predictable life.

The month started with us saying goodbye (again) to our loved ones as we left our Christmas holidays in Washington and returned to our “normal” life in California. Saying goodbye was rough.

A few days after arriving home we visited the doctor to confirm our recently-discovered pregnancy. What was supposed to be an exciting time of preparing for our new baby quickly turned into unsettling discussions followed by even more disturbing test results as we learned that our baby would never be born. My miscarriage (discussed further here) was, and continues to be, a physical and emotional roller coaster that I was in no way prepared for. The whole thing is R-O-U-G-H, ROUGH. I would have been fine with the life-change stopping right there for the moment, but as they say: when it rains, it pours.

A few days after we found out that we’d lost the baby, we went for a family hike to try and clear our minds a bit. David had brought along Mimi, his stuffed monkey lovey, on the hike. In the moment we didn’t think too much of this because, as David’s lovey, Mimi has gone with our family everywhere we’ve gone for the last 4.5 years (which, by the way, is the same total time that David has gone with us everywhere we’ve gone).

Mimi was at the hospital the day David was born. Mimi snuggled David to sleep when he was a baby. Mimi played endless hours of basketball with David when he was 2 years old. Mimi moved to Ireland with us when David was 3. Mimi traveled the world with us: she went to the top of the Eiffel Tower, rode in the London Tube, and sunbathed on beaches in Spain. Mimi comforted David when he was moved to a new home, new school and new community for the 4th time in his short life. David loved Mimi more than anything, she was his WORLD.

So, here we were, out on our hike with the whole family +Mimi and life was grand. I even got a picture of David and Mimi at the top of our hike so we could remember what good little hikers they were. But, somehow between the top of our hike and bed time, Mimi went missing. She was not in the house. She was not in the car. Mimi. Was. Gone. David was inconsolable at bedtime, so I did what any rational parent would do. I called the restaurant that we stopped at for lunch after the hike–and all of the other restaurants and businesses within a 2-block radius of there. No Mimi. I left voicemails for the security that I knew checked the area where we were hiking. No Mimi. I enlisted my running friends to retrace our steps on the trail (a huge thank you, by the way, to the dozen or so of you who did that!). No Mimi. I put ads on the lost and found section of Craigslist. No Mimi. NO. MIMI.

I don’t know if it was because we were already experiencing another type of loss or just because I really loved Mimi (because, really, she has loved my boy very well), but losing that silly monkey just wrecked me. I lost sleep over it. I’m crying right now just thinking about it. Losing Mimi was rough. For all of us.

Two days after the Mimi fiasco, I lost something else. The Bible study that I’ve been involved with for the past 10 years, the Bible study that I love and look forward to every week, the Bible study that has been my constant through all of the moves and changes and upheavals, decided they were done with my family. They asked us not to come back…for awhile…but I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea any more. I was shocked and I’m still not sure how I feel about the whole thing–and I still really do love the group and what they stand for–so we’ll just leave it at that. Another loss, another change, another rough patch.

And then, just to add a little madness to the mayhem, we got word that our landlord here in California had died a week before Christmas. Well, not so much died, as he was murdered in his new home a few miles away from where we now live. Nobody really had a plan for this, so now our agent and the landlord’s brother and some attorneys are scrambling to figure out what to do. I don’t know if we’re going to be kicked out of our house (worst case scenario) or if they’ll decide to *sell us* the house for dirt cheap just to get it off their hands (best case scenario), but it’s just another thing. Another change, another challenge, another confusing and rough experience.

In summary, my January SUCKED. There were moments when I just wanted to push stop or rewind or erase so I could make it all go away. But if I’d done that, I would have missed a lot. Because, despite the pouring down of rough sucky-ness, there were lots of bright spots in my days.

There were bright spots like eating late-night brownie sundaes with my “comfy” friends (you know, the dear friends who you are so comfy around that you make a pact to wear sweats and messy hair when you hang out). Bright spots like handwritten notes. Bright spots like the neighbor that brought us dinner and a box of doughnuts. Bright spots like David’s teacher telling me how proud she was of his effort in school. Bright spots like the gift of a day out and some pampering (shout out to Val because, seriously, I have the best friends.). Bright spots like Jacob holding my face in his tiny hands and saying in his most earnest toddler voice, “Mommy, I LOVE you. You’re pretty.” Bright spots like Jon doing all the dishes WITHOUT ME EVEN SAYING A WORD ABOUT HELPING WITH THE DISHES.

Through all this, I’ve come to realize that no matter how ridiculous life might get, there are always bright spots. In order to find the bright spots, though, sometimes you have to do more than just look for them. Sometimes, you have to surrender first in order to find them. When you’re at that place of raw vulnerability, that place that I’m at now, you have to acknowledge that you simply can not depend on your plans, your dreams, your expectations. In the now-infamous words of Elsa of Arendelle, you have to “Let It Go” (OK, I may have watched Frozen with my kids a few (dozen) times this month when I couldn’t find the will to move off the couch).

But, seriously, sometimes you just have to throw in the towel and say I can’t do this. Because, really, you can’t. I can’t. We can’t. And we’re not supposed to. We were not created to handle, on our own, all that life throws at us–because, if we were, then there would be no need for God or a Savior. We were not created to carry the burdens of the world on our shoulders, because nobody’s shoulders are sturdy enough to carry that burden. No, we were created to surrender. We were created to need the God who created us, to surrender to the Savior He sent us, and to move confidently forward knowing that He has freed us. You have to acknowledge that there are times when life is tricky and confusing and maddening and rough. And you have to lay it all down at the foot of the cross and LEAVE IT THERE. You have to give it all up and let God take the reigns on your life. It’s not easy to do, but it’s worth it.

I’m at the breaking point, and I have a choice: I can rely on my own strength–and ultimately crumble–or I can surrender to God who will strengthen me. Hiding behind my own comforts and well-thought out plans isn’t going to work right now, because all of that has already been stripped away. I am left with one option: surrender.

Surrendering to God’s will is the only way to truly move forward, so that’s what I’m choosing. I’m surrendering January (praise the Lord!) and letting it all go. I’m surrendering the trauma of the miscarriage and the loss of our beloved Mimi and the questions that remain about my future. Because it’s not worth holding on to all that rough-stuff alone, and I know that I can’t live in the “now”, let alone move forward, if I’m carrying that burden alone. It’s too much. And, since I know the solution to this particular set of problems, I’m going to take it. I’m waving the proverbial white flag like a madwoman. I’m surrendering my life, my circumstances, my very heart to God–and sitting back to watch Him work.

Proverbs 23:26: “Give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.”

Done and done.

Goodbye January, and hello, February. Out with the old, in with the new. It’s time for a fresh start. Moving forward, now!

Finding Grace In My Miscarriage

January 20, 2015January 20, 20154 Comments

This post will not be funny. In fact, it will not even be fun. But I need to write it. I need to write this, because writing helps me process my own thoughts–and I have a lot of thoughts racing through my mind right now. I need to write this because some day this moment will only be a memory, and I’ll want to remember the details. I need to write this because I need your prayers right now. I need to write this because I know I am not alone in this struggle–and if I can help any of you to feel hope or peace knowing that you are not alone, then it will be worth it.

Today was supposed to be a fun day–I would have gotten a popup from the baby tracker app on my phone that told me all about my fetus who would turn 8-weeks today. My baby would be the size of a raspberry and have brain cells growing at the rate of 100 cells per minute. But instead of being 8 weeks closer to meeting our new baby, I am saying goodbye to a baby that will never be. I am in the middle of one of the greatest challenges I’ve ever found myself in: a miscarriage. It’s one of those experiences that I’ve witnessed in others and prayed to never have brought upon myself. And yet, here I am.

When Jon and I found out on Christmas Eve that I was pregnant, we were overjoyed. We had been praying for this child for over a year, and it felt like we’d scored the jackpot. It was a Christmas miracle! Since we were in Washington for the holidays, we got to share our happy news with all of our family and closest friends in person. Looking back, I am so grateful that we had that time to share our joy with the people we love them most. For the moment, it seemed, everything was perfect.

Unfortunately, our joy was short-lived. Once we returned to California I made an appointment with my doctor to confirm the pregnancy. But during my first routine blood test, a problem quickly became apparent. My pregnancy hormone levels were raising, but not as much nor as quickly as they should be. Over the course of that week I returned to the doctor for half a dozen blood draws, prescription medication, and two ultrasounds. Then, last Friday, January 16th, I got the very diagnosis I’d been dreading: our pregnancy was coming to a close, and there would be no baby to meet at the end of it.

The doctor explained to me that I was experiencing something called a blighted ovum or an anembyonic pregnancy. What this means is that a fertilized egg attached itself to the uterine wall, but the embryo never developed. Somewhere in those very early stages of development, something went wrong. My body didn’t know this, though, so it kept preparing to host a new life. The pregnancy sac and the placenta developed, and I experienced the normal side-effects of first-trimester pregnancy. There was no way I could have known what was actually happening inside my body, and there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome.

Eventually my body will realize that the baby is no longer developing, and a physical miscarriage is imminent. My doctor gave me the choice of taking medication to initiate this process, or of going in for a medical procedure, or of simply waiting for nature to take its course. I opted to wait for a week to see if things will occur naturally, but when I return to the doctor this Friday we will decide if there are other steps that I want to take. For now, though, I am in that gray area of waiting. Waiting for something I am dreading and mourning. Waiting for the inevitable unhappy ending to my fairytale. It’s horrible, and I am broken.

A few days ago I went for a run to try to clear my mind. And as I was out there, alone on the trail, I came upon something that made me stop in my tracks. Right there on the side of the trail was a clump of daffodils, pushing their way out of the soil and proudly blooming in the sunlight. My first thought when I saw the daffodils was that this just wasn’t right.

Having lived in cold places all my life, the blooming of daffodils has always been a sign for me of triumph and new beginnings. Daffodils come at the end of the darkest season to remind us of the light that is to come. You see, in cold places, there is this season that comes every year called winter. In California we don’t so much get winter as we get a few cool-ish days mixed in with the usual sunshine. Winter in cold places is different. Everything is frozen and dark and bleak. The plants wither away to shriveled twigs and the animals go into hiding. I detest it. And then, just when it seems you’ll never enjoy daylight again, Spring arrives. The sun begins to warm the earth, the animals come out of hibernation, and the plants awaken. The daffodils bloom. I know that the worst is behind us and a new season has begun.

So as I was standing there staring at daffodils blooming in the middle of January, I understood something. These lucky California flowers didn’t have to endure the long winter and fight for survival, yet they were still allowed to blossom and grow. They were experiencing undeserved grace, getting something wonderful even though they’d done nothing to deserve it. And you know what? I am experiencing that same grace, even in the midst of this darkest hour.

Every time I hug and kiss and snuggle the two sons I already have, that is grace. Every time my husband encourages me or lets me cry on his shoulder, that is grace. Every time a friend calls or texts or sends me an email to let me know they are praying for me, that is grace. Every time I find joy in the midst of pain, that is grace. Every time the sun rises on a new day, that is grace. Every time I am reminded of where my hope lies–not in the fleeting conditions of this world, but in my eternal salvation through Jesus–that is grace.

And, even though I so desperately wanted to meet this baby, there is grace in this miscarriage. I don’t know why my baby didn’t grow, but I do know that God knew how this story would end before it even began. He allowed this to happen and, some day, I may even understand why. You see, God never promises to spare us from pain. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The Bible promises that life in this broken world will be FULL of hardship and strife. But God has an answer for that pain. He promises to be with us in our struggles, to comfort us and to heal us and to strengthen us. He promises to never leave our side, and to give us hope when we feel hopeless. Despite my great grief, I feel that overpowering peace that I know could only come from Him. I am reminded of God’s promise:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

So that is the grace I am holding close to my heart today. Even though all I see right now is a disaster, God has a plan. He has a plan for me and my family and our baby who He’s already called Home. He has plans to pull me out of my despair and allow me to flourish again. This ordeal is not meant to harm me, but to grow me in new and challenging ways. He reminds me that my hope has simply been deferred, not abandoned–and that my hope in His Truth has been strengthened. He promises me a future. This is not the end of my story.

And just like the daffodils, I will bloom again some day. But first, I have to get through the long, dark days of winter. I will survive, and I will live to see the light of a new beginning.

By God’s grace, I will triumph.

2014 in review: The Blog Edition

December 31, 2014December 31, 2014Leave a comment

2014 has been busy–here are some stats from the blog this year. Writing has been one of my great joys this year–thanks for reading, friends!

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 42,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 16 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Why Jesus Is The Better Santa

December 12, 2014December 12, 2016Leave a comment

santa

Childhood is such a magical stage of life, and Christmas has to be the most magical time in childhood. For a few short weeks every year the whole world transforms in anticipation for the most magical of all days: Christmas. Of course I loved Christmas when I was growing up, but nothing compares to seeing Christmas anew through my childrens’ eyes. The wonder, the excitement, the joy– everything is magnified with young children, and I can’t get enough of it.

I have to confess: when I think of the “magic of Christmas”, though, one of the first images that pops into my mind is of a jolly old man in a red suit with eight flying reindeer. I mean, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without Santa.

Or would it?

Five years ago when we celebrated our first Christmas with our first baby, Jon and I had several discussions about what to do about Santa. We wanted to keep the Christmas-focus on Jesus–and all of the hype around Santa kind of gets in the way of that.

After much thought and prayer, we ultimately decided to put Santa on the back-burner (this article does a great job expressing our thoughts on this subject). We still have fun with Santa– we tell our kids about the real St. Nicholas who loved Jesus and served the poor in His name, we read books and sing songs featuring Santa, and we get our annual photo with the big guy–but we just don’t make him the center of our celebrations. Santa doesn’t visit our house on Christmas Eve, and there’s no man at the North Pole putting our kids on the nice or naughty list. We acknowledge Santa without prioritizing him.

What it all boiled down to is that we didn’t want Santa to compete with Jesus for a place in our boys’ hearts or minds. And why should he? Everything that Santa “can” do, Jesus CAN do better.

In fact, if you think about it, Jesus really is the better “Santa”.

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa brings gifts once a year, but Jesus gives us the free gift of eternal salvation.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa brings fleeting happiness, but Jesus brings forever-joy.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa condemns those who are naughty, but Jesus redeems our sin.
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa comes just for kids, but Jesus came for all people.
“For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.” Galatians 3:26

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa wears a tacky red suit, but Jesus is clothed in righteousness.
“He put on righteousness like a breastplate, And a helmet of salvation on His head; And He put on garments of vengeance for clothing And wrapped Himself with zeal as a mantle.” Isaiah 59:17

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa brings coal for those who are naughty, but Christ brings forgiveness for all who sin.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa only comes once a year, but Jesus never leaves us.
“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?” 1 Corinthians 3:16

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa tries to complete our wish list once a year, but Jesus answers every request we bring to Him.
“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” John 15:7

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa lives in the North Pole, but Jesus lives in Heaven.
“But from now on the Son of Man shall be seated at the right hand of the power of God.” Luke 22:69

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa keeps a list of “naughty or nice”, but Jesus composes the Book of Life.
“The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels.” Revelation 13:8

Jesus is the better Santa because Santa brings gifts that offer temporary pleasure, but Jesus brings the timeless gift of grace.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8

Jesus is the better Santa because your belief in Santa ends in disappointment, but your faith in Jesus ends in fulfillment.
“Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:8-9

I am so grateful that God didn’t just send us any old gift at Christmas, he sent us the best gift–the perfect gift. The only gift that is guaranteed to never disappoint or break or fade with time. God became man to show his great love for all people–naughty or nice; today, tomorrow and forever.

This Christmas, may you experience the great joy that comes from this love! Merry Christmas!

A Month of “Dinovember”/Elf On The Shelf Inspirations

November 26, 2014Leave a comment

Last year I heard about this new–what shall we call it…a movement?–called Dinovemer. During Dinovember (a combination of the word parts “dino” for dinosaur and “November” for the month these escapades occur during) children awake each morning to find that their toy dinosaurs have caused mischief the previous night while the family was sleeping. Dinovember is similar to the profoundly popular Elf On The Shelf movement that has picked up steam over the last few years. I like the idea of the elf, but we already have several advent activities that we focus on during December so I just can’t with the elf. With two little boys at home, I knew that I just had to participate in the Dinovember festivities. So, I marked my calendar and when November rolled around this year I was ready!

And, I have to say, our first Dinovember was epic. I had fun thinking up antics for our dinosaurs to get into (er..I mean, the dinosaurs had fun getting into mischief all on their own…) but, even more, I loved hearing my boys’ squeals of delight and screams of astonishment each morning when they discovered their dino friends.

Dinovember helped our family play together and use our imaginations. As an added bonus, my boys also diverted some of their attention that is usually reserved solely for Toy Story and cars to a new topic of interest: dinosaurs. We checked out dinosaur books from the library, watched a dinosaur movie, and looked up the names of dinosaurs together on the computer. Dinovember was such a hit this year that we have already decided to make it an annual tradition.

If you’re looking for inspiration for your own family fun–whether it’s Dinovember or Elf on the Shelf or whatever other creature you feature during this festive season–I’ve got you covered. Here are the highlights of our first–but certainly not our last!–Dinovember:

Our Dinosaurs arrived on November 1st, the day after Halloween. They brought with them a cute little rhyming note that explained their presence and what they’d be up to this month. They also, conveniently, got into the boys’ Halloween candy and ate most of it up (“But, Dad, why is there chocolate on the corner of your mouth…?”).
The dinos left their mark on the bathroom mirror with dry erase markers. They wrote clever phrases like “Dinos rock!” and “Rawr!”:
They built intricate towers with blocks:
..and even made themselves a midnight snack (dino nuggets, of course):Our dinosaur friends made a mess out of TP:
The dinos had a late night story time with all of their favorite dinosaur books: ..and, knowing how important oral hygiene is (because, you know, they have all those sharp teeth), they even took the time to brush up:The dinosaurs got into some old-school mischief printing off pictures of themselves on our office copy machine:
They got out some favorite board games for a night of good clean fun: And, if that wasn’t enough fun, the magnadoodles were certainly entertaining! Our little dinosaur friends did some baking (poor little Stegasaurus even got trapped under a bowl!): They must have wanted to go for a walk because the dinos tried on all of our shoes: Then they decided to primp themselves up with some of Mom’s jewelry: As everyone knows, art is a dinosaur’s favorite subject: Some of the other toys retaliated against the dinos’ mischief-making tendencies:But, in the end, the dinosaurs were so very thoughtful. They even put their own ideas onto our family “Thankful Tree” (even if their ideas of “sharp teeth”, “loud roars”, and “sharks” were a bit unconventional):Hunger must have struck in the middle of the night, because one morning we found them outside grilling up a hamburger and reading our “King of the Grill” cookbook:
Even dinosaurs get tired sometimes (can you find them in there?): The dinos wanted to be just like Daddy and shave off their wiskers: Occasionally the dinosaurs were downright helpful. Here they are starting a load of laundry:Our dino friends built impressive book towers with a bit of prehistoric ingenuity:
Going back to their animal roots, the dinosaurs decided to go fishing…from the top of a doorframe: After watching countless hours of our boys playing cars, the dinos wanted their own turn at the race track: …And what visit to a little boys’ room would be complete without trying some undies on your head?

Then, as one final goodbye, the dinosaurs left us with some lasting memories from their “professional” photo shoot:

Dinovember has been a blast but, like all good things, it must come to an end. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and our dinosaurs will eat enough turkey to go into hibernation until next November. We will miss our little dino friends, but we can’t wait to see what they come up with next year!

The Thankful Project

November 21, 2014November 21, 2014Leave a comment

Parenting is not always glamorous or cute or even fun. The other day I was sitting on the couch watching both of my kids cry at me, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. These sweet, crazy, LOUD children were crying at me again. And in this moment I had a choice: I could succumb to the anger and frustration that were starting to boil up inside me, or I could be thankful. Yes, thankful.

Thankful for these sweet, crazy, LOUD children who I had desperately longed for and prayed for. Thankful that the reason I get to witness a hundred fits each day is because I am able to stay home to help raise them. Thankful that they have lungs that are strong and work well–really well. Thankful that I could comfort them in their time of need. Thankful–just thankful.

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought it would be appropriate to document some of these ordinary moments of thankfulness–perform a little thankful project, if you will. For the last couple of weeks I’ve kept a notebook on my kitchen counter and, every time I’ve noticed them, I’ve written down the things that I’m thankful for. What I’ve found during this little experiment is that I’m looking for more reasons to be thankful–and, as a result, I am feeling more thankful. Some of the things that I wouldn’t typically pay any notice to are becoming fuel for my thankful heart. Things like:

The sound of Jacob’s sweet little toddler/man voice
The feel of David’s long body curled up on my lap
Morning snuggles with my boys in my bed
The smell and feel of Jacob’s hair
That I kept my cool during David’s hour-long tantrum
Hearing the sputter-breath at the end of a tantrum that signals the screaming is over
Having a BBQ outside in November
Meeting my friends’ kids and seeing my kids befriend these kids
Having a washing machine in my house so I can easily wash things any time I need to
That I have choices of schools for my children–even if, for the life of me, I can not make up my mind on which choice to choose
Solo runs to clear my head
Making my kids laugh
Getting the best parking spot in the lot
Friends who point me to Jesus
Building sandcastles with my boys
Bedtime.
Meeting new babysitters who can help us
Patient teachers who pray for my son
Getting out of my comfort zone and meeting new people. It’s always worth it.
Feeling transported back to Ireland every time I sip Barry’s tea
Working with an honest mechanic
Salted caramel cupcakes. Oh my yum.
Being the first shopper to walk in the door at Costco on a weekday morning
Reminiscing with old photos
Disposable diapers and rubber gloves
My handyman husband who fixed our stuck door–I probably would have just dealt with it forever, and been annoyed every single time I used it.
That I can turn on a cartoon for the kids and get a 20 minute break
Neighbors that have welcomed us to our new neighborhood and made us feel like family
Reading books with my boys
Hearing leaves crunch underfoot
Seeing David and Jacob give each other hugs on their own, just because
Amazon Prime
Baking muffins with my boy and hearing him squeal with delight when he cracks the eggs
The opportunity to pray with my boys when things aren’t going well and we need some help
Our weekly gardening service
David and Jacob signing their prayer song at dinner time
Jon’s dedication and passion for his job–that he works hard for our family so I can “work from home”
Watching Jon and the boys wrestle on the bed at night
Throwing marshmallows for the boys (it’s a Peterson thing…)
A full fridge and pantry that are only ever empty because of neglect, not need for resources
Stealing a few minutes to read a magazine
Welcoming visitors into our home
Baking cookies for the old man that reminds me of my grandpa who lives down the street
The boys eating carrots like they’re little rabbits while we walk through the farmer’s market
Parks that we can walk to
A garage that keeps my car toasty on a frosty morning
Watching our dog, Bota, watching the squirrels in our yard
Giant cardboard boxes that can be turned into hours of imaginative entertainment
Planning surprises for my boys
The smell of the earth after it rains
Splashing in puddles
Fresh flowers on my mantle
Spending one-on-one time with each of my boys every day
Organizing things in my house
The feel of Play-Doh squishing through my fingers
Drinking hot chocolate with my boys
Jacob doing “upside downs” (somersaults)
David getting dressed by himself
Talking to my mom and sisters on the phone
Hearing babies cry in church
Being able to find my way around with less and less help from GPS
Studying and learning at BSF
Hearing that David and Jacob wanted to sit together and hold hands during the large group time at church
Little notes from my cousins
Having a camera on my phone to capture life’s little moments
Feeling Jacob play with my hair in his tiny toddler hands
Playing at library story time with Jacob
Rest
Finding the perfect gift for someone I love
Listening to David playing Toy Story and using all the voices for the different characters
Yoga pants
Shopping for deals
Fresh, clean sheets on my bed
Kissing boo-boos better
The way Jacob snarls his nose
Receiving letters from our sponsor child at World Vision
Time to write
Jacob’s curly hair when he wakes up from a nap
Writing our annual Christmas letter and reflecting on the past year
Hearing my favorite songs pop up on Pandora
Listening to the conversations of my kids and their friends
Teeny tiny socks
Wearing pretty jewelry
Making blanket forts
The way Jacob calls DVD’s and CD’s “ABCD’s”
Stroking soft little baby ears
The way David sticks out his tongue a bit when he’s concentrating really hard on something.
The appearance of red cups at Starbucks
Rainbows on my drive home
Unexpectedly running into someone I know
Wearing flip flops
Jon bringing home dinner so I don’t have to cook
Watching the boys playing nicely together…for a moment
Hearing my kids say what they are thankful for
Friends around the world
The smell of coffee brewing–even though I don’t drink it, I love the smell
Jon making me chai tea before he leaves for work
That my kids are still little–this stage of life
David asking me, “Can I keep you forever?”
The clicking sound David makes with his tongue when he’s falling asleep
The sight of two sleeping babes curled up in their beds

…and the list goes on. My new goal in this busy time of motherhood is to continue this Thankful Project, to look for new ways to appreciate each moment. And to you, Friend, may you find many moments of gratefulness in your own life.

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!

We Love, Teach, Grow

My journey through motherhood

Category: Kids and Parenting