My son has a best friend. David spends about 90% of his waking hours (and 100% of his sleeping hours) snuggled up with his special friend. She’s small in stature, has short brown hair, and dark eyes. And, oh yes, she is a monkey. Meet Mimi:

Mimi was a gift to David when he was a baby, and she truly is his first love. David has such a strong rapport with Mimi that he knows her entire history. You can ask him any question about Mimi and he has a ready answer. This game of “know thy monkey” amuses me to no end. And now, for the first time ever, David has agreed to an exclusive on-the-record interview with Mimi. Since Mimi is a bit shy, David decided to act as her interpreter during our exchange. Here is a glimpse into our conversation:

Hi, David! Who is that you’re holding?
Mimi.

Who is Mimi?
A monkey. She’s my friend, but she’s a monkey.

Is Mimi a boy or a girl?
A girl.

What is Mimi’s mom’s name?
Allison.

What is Mimi’s dad’s name?
Jonathan.

How old is Mimi?
I don’t know…17. I’m 3.

Is Mimi older or younger than you?
Younger than me.

But 17 is a bigger number than 3.
Can we watch Toy Story?

What is Mimi’s favorite toy?
She likes yo-yo’s. She just loves yo-yos.

What does she do with yo-yos?
Umm….ummm..puts them in a video.

What kind of video?
Tangled.

Does Mimi like to watch videos?
Yes, Tangled is her favorite.

Why?
Because it’s good for her to watch. Because it’s kinda nice. There’s a golden flower.

That is nice. What else does Mimi like?
Uh…balls. She likes ball games. She likes football games!

Does Mimi play football?
She plays it when she’s a real monkey. And shoots the ball right into my hoop! She will bring the football right outside to my hoop and she does pretend bites. We only do pretend bites. Pretend bites don’t hurt.

That’s good. We don’t want to hurt anybody. Does Mimi ever get in trouble?
Blank stare

Alright, moving on. Does Mimi like to eat?
When she’s a pretend monkey, leaves are good for her to eat. She will cross the river and I think they are in the grass. The leaves are in the grass. She likes to eat the leaves from our park across the street.

Does Mimi ever go the park without you?
Yes, she does! She runs away to Blackberry Trail (the trail that runs behind our house). But there are no blackberries now. We need to get more blackberries and eat them. I think we should use a spoon and fork to eat blackberries.

Have you taught Mimi how to use a spoon and a fork?
Uh-huh.

Have you taught her how to do anything else?
Nope. That’s it. She doesn’t know how to do anything else. She’s not going to do anything else. Ever.  Should we watch Toy Story now?

Is Mimi tired of me asking questions?
Yes, Mom. I think you want to stop.

Yes, I think you’re right. You’re very insightful like that. I think I do want to stop. Thank you for your time, Mimi and David.
You’re welcome, Mommy Pig (that’s another story for another day).

Oh, Mimi. Thank you for loving my son unconditionally. What would we ever do without you?