Life With Boys

I grew up in a family of all girls. My world as a child revolved around ballerinas, princesses, frilly dresses and “playing” house (oh, the irony…). Fast forward a few years and the roles have been reversed. I am now the only female in a house run by boys (children and husband counted in that tally). And, as you might expect, my world is a bit different now. Life with boys usually leaves me dumbfounded and, sometimes, just plain shocked. I offer you the following examples of how my life has changed now that I am living a life with boys:

1. On a beautiful Spring afternoon I took my 3-year old son out to play in the field across the street from our house. As we laid in the grass some daisies caught our eye. David started picking the delicate flowers and I taught him how to make daisy chains.

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As I was adding the final flower to our daisy chain I looked up to show David our beautiful creation…only he wasn’t sitting behind me any more. No, he had stood up, turned around, dropped his pants down to his ankles (remember, we’re in the field in the middle of our neighborhood) and was peeing all over the daisies. No daisy crown for you, son.

2. Due to my boys’ destructive tendencies, I have become an expert at mending all manner of broken things (clothes, toys, books, the family dog).

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3. David and Jacob will just be walking along and, all of a sudden, they’ll stop in their tracks, lay down in a pile of mud and start making “snow angels”. For no reason.

4. Most days when I go to put on my shoes or boots there are little surprises waiting inside for me:

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5. When I point out a cool bug for them to look at their first instinct is to smash it to smithereens.

6. All of my kitchen gadgets are tools with much more creative uses than they were originally designed for. The salad tongs are screwdrivers, the meat mallet is a hammer, the wooden spoons are drumsticks, the whisk is a light saber, the pastry cutter is a violin and the vegetable peeler is its bow. As a result, my boys have enjoyed hours of endless entertainment from my gadget drawer…and I have to re-wash every kitchen tool every day.

7. I always check my drinking glass before I take a sip of water. You never know what might be lurking inside…plastic soldiers:

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…or grapes (but we wanted to see if they’d float, Mom!):

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8. I am trying to allow David to exert his independence and help get himself dressed for school in the morning. Nine times out of ten, though, we end up with something like this:

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9. I find myself uttering ridiculous phrases like “Don’t pull your brother’s penis!” and “Quit peeing on the picnic table! That’s where we were going to eat dinner tonight!”.

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10. We have actually coerced David into eating his dinner by allowing him to run laps in the kitchen. For every bite of food he ate, he got to run one lap around the kitchen. It was the only time this month that he ate his entire plate of dinner in one sitting (even though he wasn’t exactly sitting).

11.David April 2013 - 0030Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) revolves around balls: basketballs, baseballs, footballs, tennis balls, rugby balls, soccer balls, golf balls, bouncy balls, bowling balls. Our house is littered with balls. Our topic of conversation at dinner revolves around balls. A good day or a bad day depends on how many balls we played with and whether or not they were full of enough air. Even our food must be referred to in ball terms if there is any hope of getting my boys to eat it (Have you tried your pea balls yet? Look at that chicken–it almost looks like a football! Did you know that the best soccer players eat all of their broccoli?).

12. Every time they see a dandelion they roar with all their might (Get it? DandeLIONS?).

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Yes, life with boys is a challenging, head-scratching, patience-testing, learn-more-each-day experience. In the end, though, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My boys have taught me to be more spontaneous, to enjoy getting messy, to use my imagination in new and creative ways, and to laugh more. They are the apples of my eye, and I wouldn’t trade them for all of the frills and fluff and lace that money could buy.

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