You May Be A Stay At Home Mom If…

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About four years ago I retired from my day job as a teacher and entered the ranks of a new profession: I became a stay at home mom. It is a choice that I have never regretted, yet my life is undeniably different now that I spend my days (and nights) tending to my children. I’m sure you already know if you are a career Mother but, just in case you were wondering, here are a few things that might tip you off:

You may be a stay at home mom if the days of the week and holidays have lost all sense and meaning: it’s either a “Daddy’s at work” day or a “Daddy’s at home day”.

You may be a stay at home mom if you swap out your yoga pants for a pair of jeans and feel like you’ve dressed up.

You may be a stay at home mom if you find yourself having conversations with imaginary friends. They’re called “adults”.

You may be a stay at home mom if you finish cleaning up breakfast just in time to start preparing lunch, and finish cleaning up lunch just in time to lay out the afternoon snack, and finish putting away snack just in time to start cooking dinner.

You may be a stay at home mom if a solo trip to the grocery store is about as exciting as riding a unicorn to the moon.

You may be a stay at home mom if you find yourself singing the “If You Have To Go Potty” song from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood every time you have to go potty.

You may be a stay at home mom if you’re exhausted at the end of the day but can’t remember a single thing you did.

You may be a stay at home mom if an unsolicited silence is your worst enemy.

You may be a stay at home mom if your idea of a great escape is watching Downton Abbey while you fold laundry.

You may be a stay at home mom if you find yourself randomly humming the tunes from your baby’s Jumperoo and your toddler’s push toy.

You may be a stay at home mom if you haven’t eaten lunch yet. This week.

You may be a stay at home mom if your husband gets home from work and you greet him like an excited Cocker Spaniel and don’t stop talking for at least an hour.

You may be a stay at home mom if the kids have been in bed for half an hour and you realize you’re still watching Dora The Explorer.

You may be a stay at home mom if the hot topics of debate among your friends revolves around which McDonald’s has the best playground and which library has the best story time.

You may be a stay at home mom if your daily exercise routine consists of running after a toddler, carrying laundry up and down stairs, squatting to pick up toys and crunching numbers to stay on budget.

You may be a stay at home mom if you’re on a first-name basis with the UPS delivery driver.

You may be a stay at home mom if the sight of your clean-ish house actually makes you cringe a bit because you realize that what has taken hours to achieve will all be laid to waste within seconds of your children re-entering the scene.

You may be a stay at home mom if nap time is the closest thing to paradise you experience on this side of heaven.

You may be a stay at home mom if your paychecks come in the form of slobbery kisses and squeaky “I love you’s”.

You may be a stay at home mom if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have the best job in the world…even if you are broke, exhausted, and a bit disconnected from reality.

To all of my fellow stay at home moms out there, keep up the good work. It’s important work, perhaps the most important work you could be doing. And, if that’s not enough encouragement, happy Friday–Daddy will be home soon!

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