The Last First Time

October 23, 2015October 23, 20152 Comments

I’ve had a lot of Big Feelings this week.

David, my oldest, is turning 5 (FIVE?!?!) in a few days and I honestly can’t believe it. This little boy–my BABY–who I carried in my belly for 9 months (actually, more like 10 months, the persistent little bugger) is officially NOT a baby any more. When he was toddling around at 2 years old, I was justified in calling him a baby; when he was learning his colors and shapes and the intricacies of Angry Birds at age 3, I could get by calling him a baby–even at age 4 when he still sported the round, chubby face of a cherub could I call him a baby. But not any more.

He is tall and lean and feisty and fantastic and…FIVE. Holy moly, how did that even happen? Last week I was looking back at his baby book with him and I was recounting all of his firsts–his first smile, his first tooth, him eating his first foods, his first steps, his first word (“Mama”, obviously). I realized that in his short life that actually seems quite long, he’s had a lot of firsts. And I’ve been there for all of them, taking pictures and writing them down in his baby book (ok, I mostly just posted everything on Facebook, but that’s the modern day equivalent of a baby book, right?). So, the other day I went shopping for David’s birthday gift and I was pondering all of this–the beauty and the irony of life already moving so quickly.

Then the real kicker came. As I was walking over to the toy section, I happened to (on purpose) walk through the baby section. I hadn’t had a chance to go shopping for our new baby yet, so I decided to take advantage of my solo shopping time and do a quick browse through the baby clothes. Somehow, three of the pinkest, frilliest outfits managed to find their way into my shopping cart. And then it hit me: this was the last first time I’d shop for my new baby. I could vividly remember my first pregnancy and the thrill of shopping for David for the first time. Then, a year or so later, I had the joy of picking out sweet new things for Jacob. But now. NOW. It’s our last baby and this was my LAST first time shopping for her.

I lost it, right there in the middle of the baby section. It’s probably not the first time a pregnant lady started crying over baby clothes at Target, but I still felt like a fool. A fool who really didn’t care because COME ON–this is IT. This is the beginning of the end, and it’s bittersweet.

I am in the last few months of pregnancy…EVER. In the coming months and years, there will be a lot of last first times. I recently began to feel my baby move, for the last first time. I am carrying another human life, for the last first time. In a few short months I will hold my baby in my arms, for the last first time. And every moment with here from there on out, it will be the last first time. It’s glorious and terrifying at the same time, and I almost can’t handle it.

So, this week I’m going to pull up my big girl panties (no, seriously, pregnancy panties are preeeeeeetty big) and I’m going to celebrate my baby-who’s-not-a-baby-anymore. I’m going to relish in his firsts–of past, present, and future–as he blows out those five flickering candles. I’m going to remember the first time he smashed a (homemade organic baked from scratch with no refined sugars) birthday cake and I’m going to smile because he’s come a long way, baby. And I’ll probably dream about the day that my other children will reach these milestones, these firsts, in their time.

And then I’ll probably (definitely) cry. Because that’s what I do.

A Week In The Life of Our Homeschool

October 16, 2015October 16, 2015Leave a comment

If you would have asked me last year what I thought I would be doing RIGHT NOW, the answer would have been: NOT homeschooling my kids. And yet, here I am…homeschooling my kids…and I actually kind of love it. No, I really love it. I love watching my kids learn–and learning along with them. I love playing teacher again. I love the way our boys’ relationships with each other and with us have strengthened. Homeschool has been a good move for our family, and I’m glad we made it.

We are still very new to this whole homeschooling thing, though, and I get a lot of questions from people about it.

How is school going?
Overall great, with plenty of hiccups and meltdowns along the way.

Are you exhausted yet?
Ummm…YEAH.

What do you do all day?
Stuff…I call it “playing with a purpose”.

Our days are surprisingly packed and the weeks have been flying by. In order to give you a better picture of what school looks like for us, I’ve put together a little tour through our week. So pack your bags and come along with us for your first week enrolled at the Peterson Learning Academy!

Day 1
On Mondays I introduce our weekly themes: our book (with our curriculum, Five In A Row, we have a new children’s book each week. We read the book every day of that week and base our activities around the themes found in the book), letter of the week, and Bible verse.

This week’s book is Ask Mr. Bear by Marjorie Flack, a classic book that has been enjoyed by four generations of children. The book is about a little boy who is trying to find the perfect birthday gift for his mother, so he asks all of the animals he meets if they have a gift for him. The main themes from the book that we focused on this week were farm animals, forests, and birthdays (mostly because I wanted an excuse to eat more cake).

After reading the book through one time we jumped right into our farm animal theme. We started with a matching game where the boys had to match animals with their products.

Then we went outside to “milk” our “cows”.

Even though our cow udders were actually latex gloves and our milk was actually water, we still had a lot of fun (and we all agreed that we would not want to wake up early every morning to complete this chore).

Once our cows had been properly milked we measured how much water…er…milk…made it into our buckets. Despite a significant amount of liquid being lost to squirting themselves and each other, we did manage to pour enough into measuring cups to complete the activity.

All that milking made us hungry, so we headed back inside to make a snack–farm style! We made our own butter by pouring heavy cream and a pinch of salt into a jar…

…and shaking, shaking, shaking like crazy!

Just when we thought our arms would fall off from exhaustion, the butter came together and we were able to enjoy some toast with VERY fresh butter.

With tummies full of butter we were ready to move on to Messy Time (I have boys, so “messy time” is a suitable term for our artistic endeavors). Today we made “cow udder art” (ok, I’ve gotta think of a better name for that one…). We filled some more latex gloves with paint, poked holes in the ends of the fingers, and squirted away. They are very modern. I think I’ll sell the completed pieces to an art gallery and add the money to the boys’ college funds.

After messy time we did a little work with our letter of the week, “o”. The boys love using their “dibble dots” (Bingo stampers), so we did a dibble dot letter tracing page to work on fine motor skills.

Monday happened to be a school holiday for the other kids in our neighborhood (Darn! We almost forgot to celebrate Columbus Day!). In the afternoon we met up with a bunch of the kids to go for a creek walk in our neighborhood.

Day 2
This was our “forest day”. After doing calendar time and reading our book again, we packed up and headed out for a day exploring the woods where Mr. Bear lives. There are several great hiking trails within a few minutes of our house, so we didn’t have to go too far to find a good forest.

The boys wanted to climb every tree we came to. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.

We hiked (and by “hiked”, I mean I hiked and they walked for short spurts between rides in the jogging stroller) a little over a mile to a small lake.

The boys went “fishing” with poles we’d made that morning at home (they caught lots of little green plants and muck on their lines but, sadly for them, no fish).

They also had fun exploring this exciting “tunnel” we found near the lake (and my, how it echoed!).

During our walk we made a nature board. I had painted several colors along one edge of the board and the boys worked together to find nature treasures of every color that we then taped on to the board. Their favorite finds were an acorn, multi-colored leaves…and an orange peel that someone had left on the side of the trail.

When we returned home we made a page for our memory books (3-ring binders that we’re adding to all year). Today’s page was on the colors of Autumn and we used our color nature board to help us complete a poem about the different colors we see in nature at this time of year.

Day 3
Our day started with the boys “reading” books to our dog, Bota, while I made breakfast.
Wednesday mornings are usually spent at our church doing either Playhouse (a fantastic morning just for preschoolers–they have open gym time with bounce houses, ride-on toys, gymnastics equipment, climbers, Play-doh, puzzles, crafts, stories, and circle time) or MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers). This was a MOPs week, so the boys went to their Moppetts group where they do a little Bible lesson, craft and games with other children their age. Meanwhile, Mommy went to her “class” where I learned how to take stunning iPhone photos while noshing on an uninterrupted hot breakfast and chatting with my friends.

Moppetts wore out little Jacob and he fell asleep in the car on the way home. While Jacob was napping, I took advantage of the quiet to work one-on-one with David. David has his own handwriting book that we are going through this year and he completed the “o” page for our letter of the week.

Then David did a letter building game, working with our letters of the week from this week and last week.

We had just enough time to do our “writing project”–thank you notes for his birthday party that we had last weekend!
After Jacob’s nap the boys worked on some animal puzzles together.

Then it was calendar time (a group activity where we go through the days of the week, counting, patterns, and graphing using our daily calendar). I’ve also been incorporating a song or poem each week that goes along with our theme, and this week’s poem is about farm animals. The boys used our farm puppets to help act out the poem.

Next, we caught up on an activity that we ran out of time for last week when we were studying Corduroy. We made a page for our memory books that involved measuring and weighing their teddy bears.

Finally, we had Bible time. We’ve been using our Awana Cubbies book for a lot of our Bible time activities, and today’s story was about God creating the animals (quite fitting since we’ve been learning so much about animals lately!).

Day 4
Now that we had heard our story several times and were getting quite familiar with it, I gave the boys some time for dramatic play. We started by talking about setting and we looked through several of our favorite books so we could identify the setting of each story. Then we got out the butcher paper (thank you, Melodie!) to draw a mural of the setting in Ask Mr. Bear.

After our setting was complete, we hung it up and set up a “stage” so we could re-enact the story with puppets. The boys had a great time making their puppets move and talk just like the characters in the story.

After several versions of the puppet show we worked on a letter-o craft project (they made an o-shaped octopus with Cheeri-o suckers on the tentacles…the vast majority of the “suckers” ended up in their mouths, though, so we counted this as snack time. Bam. Double-duty art project.)

While they were content at the table with bowls full of Cheeri-o’s I had them color a mini farm animal book. The pattern of the text is so simple that they can “read” their own books–they really enjoyed getting to read to me for a change!
Day 5
Friday fun day! Since the plot of our book this week centered around a little boy trying to find the perfect birthday gift for his mother, I thought it would be fitting to have our own birthday celebration (note: Friday fun day also apparently implies that we got to wear pajamas and/or Halloween costumes all day. Homeschool for the win.)

I try to do at least one cooking project with the boys every week, so we headed into the kitchen to make birthday cupcakes (shhh…they were actually banana muffins, but don’t tell the un-birthday boys).

While our muffin cupcakes were baking we made a collaborative book. On each page they dictated while I wrote who they would like to give a gift to and what it would be. Then they drew a picture of the gift in the “gift box” at the bottom of the page and taped a piece of wrapping paper along the top edge of the gift box. It’s a really fun book similar to a lift-the-flap book that I’m sure they’ll enjoy reading and re-reading.

We also played some balloon games. The first game involved rolling dice and bouncing the balloon the same number of times as the number they rolled. Once they got the hang of this we added a second dice and they had to add the numbers together (David could do this on his own, but Jacob still needed some help counting and adding the larger numbers).

We also did an experiment with balloons and FIRE (this one definitely had the wow factor going for it!). I blew up two balloons—one with just air, and the other with air and about 1/4 cup of cold water. We made predictions about what we thought would happen when the flame touched each balloon and then tested out our theories (the air balloon popped right away and the water-filled balloon lasted awhile longer before exploding). We talked about how heat changes things and they gave me examples of things they have seen changed by heat. Then we went back into the kitchen to check on our muffins in the oven to see how heat had changed THEM!

The boys decorated their birthday muffins with some frosting and sprinkles (eh, why not…) and I gave them each a birthday candle. We sang “Happy Un-Birthday To You” and they each made a wish before blowing out their candles. Then they licked their plates (and fingers, and table) clean.

While they were eating their cupcakes I got out their baby books and showed them the only completed sections in the books–their very first birthdays. We compared the size of their baby footprints to their giant boy feet and the size of their newborn ID bracelets to their giant boy hands. We looked at pictures of their tiny little selves and Mommy gushed about how stinkin’ adorable they were. Mommy may have also cried. Just a little.

After our snack we went back to our book and found all of the gifts that the animals suggested Danny give his mother for his birthday. We listed each gift on a whiteboard and then came up with rhyming words for each gift. I have a little rhyming song that we like to sing any time we rhyme, so we sang several verses using our gift rhymes.And thus concluded our week of Ask Mr. Bear (and with it, our unit on bears). This afternoon we’ll go to the library to return all of our bear books and check out some new books for next week’s study of pumpkins!

I hope you enjoyed coming along with us on our week of learning. Until next time!

XxX Allison

Mommy Pet Peeves

September 18, 2015September 18, 20152 Comments

As much as we all love our children and the joy that is parenting, there are certain things that come with the territory that, quite simply, DRIVE US NUTS. Every parent has their own poison, myself included. Those things that can interrupt a perfectly lovely moment like nails on a chalkboard–our pet peeves. Since confession is the first step toward recovery, I would now like to air out my top mommy pet peeves:

1. Rogue Tiny plastic toys
Whoever decided that it was a good idea to market tiny plastic land-mines-disguised-as-toys to children has got another thing coming to them. I would like to suggest that, before they release a play thing to the free market, all manufacturers should submit themselves to case testing where they are blindfolded and forced to walk barefoot through a room littered in their creation. I can not even tell you how many times I’ve bruised my bare foot on a forgotten Lego or tripped over a miniature plastic army guy on my way up the stairs. I swear, tiny plastic toys are designed with the express intent of inflicting physical pain on unsuspecting parents. I’m coming for you, Mattel.

2. Leaving one square of toilet paper on the roll
We have a house rule that whoever uses up a roll of toilet paper must exchange the empty roll for a fresh one. It’s a common courtesy so that nobody is ever left high and…ahem…NOT dry. Clever people in my house (names withheld to protect the innocent) have found a way around this: just leave one square on the roll. I mean, I get it. They didn’t use up ALL the toilet paper–why on earth should they be expected to replace the WHOLE ROLL? After all, one square is a totally acceptable amount of toilet paper to handle any and all potential bathroom needs the next patron might have.

3. Dishes sitting on the counter next to the dishwasher
God has blessed us with this incredible invention that has revolutionized modern life: the dishwasher. All you have to do is 1) Put your dirty dishes into the dishwasher 2) Pour a little soap into the dishwasher soap receptacle 3) Push a button, and 4) Come back an hour or so later to racks full of pristine dishes. Simple as pie, easy peasy–right? Wrong. As it turns out, step 1) Put your dirty dishes INTO THE DISHWASHER, is mind-blowingly difficult. Approximately 99.9% of the dirty dishes in our household migrate to the counter directly above the dishwasher, and there they sit indefinitely. I can only assume that last bit of opening the dishwasher door and shoving the dishes inside is an overwhelmingly taxing expenditure of energy. My poor family could not possibly be expected to put themselves through that misery. Bless them, they must know deep down in their hearts how much I love the challenge of moving dishes from the counter into the dishwasher, and I can only express my most sincere gratitude to them for helping me to grow in this area.

4. Grocery shopping with children
I would totally avoid this one if I could, but for some reason all of these little mouths keep wanting to be fed. And so, the grocery store must be addressed.

Grocery shopping with children is like playing Russian roulette: when you win, you win BIG but when you lose…well, just don’t ever lose. Throwing kids into the mix means you almost always lose at the grocery store game: Have all the children already eaten, slept, and pottied properly? How is the general mood of my offspring on this fine morning? Where do I put the kids–walking with me so that they knock over every display in every aisle we pass through, or in the cart so that I have nowhere to actually put the groceries? Will my toddler throw a tantrum in the middle of the produce aisle? Will my 4-year old swipe cake decorating supplies (again) and stash them in his pocket, only to be discovered once we have safely returned home? Will the forbidden candy in the check-out line incite the next civil war in the middle of my shopping cart? Did I remember my shopping list, my reusable shopping bags, my coupons, my diaper bag, my wallet, my sanity?

And, if we actually make it through the store in one piece, there’s always the check-out line to look forward to. Because if there is anything I can predict with 100% accuracy on a shopping trip with kids it is this: I will always choose the slowest line.

All I can say is praise you, sweet Jesus, for Amazon Prime and Safeway home delivery.

5. Itty Bitty Socks
There are two problems with itty bitty socks: 1) Itty bitty socks are specifically designed to fall off itty bitty feet, and 2) Itty bitty socks are polarized so that no pair of socks that enter a washing machine may ever exit together. I have baskets and bags and bins full of itty bitty socks that have been found lying off-foot or that are anxiously awaiting the joyful return of their partner. Thank goodness we moved to California so I have a decent excuse for why my children are barefoot year-round.

6. Inopportune Sleep Schedules
Fact: 90% of parenting revolves around an attempt to control your childrens’ sleep. Children either won’t sleep when you want them to, or they will sleep when you don’t want them to.

Here are some typical child sleep scenarios (not that any of them could ever possibly have happened to me personally):

It’s your 2-year old’s nap time and you absolutely positively need to return a critical phone call and fold that growing pile of laundry without “help”: guaranteed he’s climbing up your leg instead of nodding off. Your fridge broke over the weekend so you’ve been without perishable foods for the past 3 days, and now that a new fridge has finally been delivered you absolutely positively must go to the grocery store (your favorite place!) for eggs and milk: guaranteed your 3-year old (who rarely naps any more) and your 4-year old (who hasn’t napped in 2 years) will both fall asleep in the car on the way to the store thus making it impossible to complete the task at hand. It’s 9:00 and you’ve had ONE OF THOSE DAYS and all you want to do is curl up in the fetal position and binge watch HGTV: guaranteed the kids get out of bed 5,000 times. You have 15 minutes to get the kids changed, snacked, and driven to the pool for swimming lessons: guaranteed your preschooler is passed out in a state of hypnosis that can’t be shaken.

Guarantees in parenting are few and far between, but at least we can be assured that some things will remain a constant: those things that drive us nuts. In the end, I guess I will just have to learn how to deal with my own mommy pet peeves–perhaps while wandering kid-free through an empty grocery store with a Starbucks hand.

Ready For (Home)School!

September 4, 20154 Comments

Can you believe it? Summer is OVER, and hi-ho-hi-ho it’s back to school we go. Back-to-school is always a special time of year, but this year is totally unique for us as it will be our inaugural year of homeschool. The butterflies are stirring.

Even though I’ve formally been out of the classroom for the last five years, I still suffer from Teacher Complex A. I can’t walk by the school supply aisle in a store without stopping to ogle the newest offerings, and I have a strong affinity for paper cutters and laminators. I speak in my Teacher Voice when I mean business–even with other grown adults. I’ve been known to opt out of traditional home décor in favor of colorful die-cut shapes so we can practice our letters and counting skills. You can take the teacher out of the classroom, but you can’t take the teacher out of me.

You can imagine how giddy I’ve been these last couple of weeks, then, as I’ve eagerly set up my own classroom at home (and by classroom, I mean I have completely taken over the entire house). This was no small feat considering we just moved into this house a 12 days ago, but where there’s a will there’s a way, amirght?

We’re officially starting school next Tuesday after Labor Day, although we’ve already started tinkering around with some of the school stuff because the boys saw it and were curious and I’m not about to miss the opportunity to capitalize on their eagerness. Since this will be our first year of homeschool, I know that I’ll be making tweaks and adjustments as the year goes on. For now, though, here is the set up for the 2015-2016 school year at Peterson Learning Academy:

This year we will be using a curriculum (and I use that term lightly) called Five In A Row (FIAR). After reviewing the first volume of FIAR, however, I decided that Before Five In A Row (BFIAR) would be a better fit for us this year since most of the FIAR lessons are geared toward early readers and writers and we’re just not quite there yet.

Each week we will read a different classic children’s book (think Going On A Bear Hunt and The Runaway Bunny) every day for a full week (five days in a school week = five in a row). The curriculum/guide suggests learning activities across all subject areas that go along with the themes of the story. This is called a unit study approach, and I really like this idea for my multi-age preschool (see how fancy we are here at the Peterson Learning Academy?). FIAR allows me to adapt ideas to meet the interests and needs of both boys while keeping the focus on hands-on activities (I have a strong aversion to worksheets and rote seat work for kids of this age, but we can get more into that later…).

I will also be supplementing a the BFIAR guide a bit as I find necessary. For Bible I plan on using the FIAR Bible Study Supplement, The Jesus Storybook Bible, and Five Minute Devotions for Children. For handwriting practice (for David only) we’ll use the Get Set For School My First School Book by Handwriting Without Tears. I made my own planning notebook because that’s just how I’ve always done it and it works and I like it.

As far as the classroom goes, we have several spaces to choose from. I’m sure as the year goes on I will see how each space works best and we’ll move around all day as it suits us. This is our learning corner where we will do calendar/circle time and work on projects at the boys’ small table.

I also set up some bookshelves and storage on the opposite wall so I can keep books and supplies at the ready.

The drawers next to the bookshelves contain supplies (crayons, markers, scissors, glue, tape) and manipulatives (teacher speak for Stuff We Use…letter and number magnets, big foam dice, ice cube trays for sorting activities, blocks, felt board pieces, puppets, pointers…all kinds of goodies).

The living room just happens to be in the center of our learning space, so we’ll use the couch and fireplace for story time and cuddle breaks.

Our dining room table will be another great workspace since we can clear it off and have plenty of room to lay out projects.

The kitchen will play a big role in our learning adventures this year. I plan on doing at least one cooking project each week that goes along with our story, so I wanted to make sure the kitchen was accessible for the boys. I dedicated several lower drawers to the supplies they’ll be using most often in our cooking: measuring cups and spoons, baking dishes, bowls, and cutting boards.

Perhaps what I’m most excited about, as far as the actual learning space is concerned, is the fact that we will have nearly unlimited access to the Outdoor Classroom (thank you, California sunshine!). One of our decks will host our outdoor learning stations: a sensory table (designed and built by Jon, our resident playtime architect and Principal Daddy), the “Play Doh Table”, and a big tub of plastic toys and Play Doh tools (plus a comfy chair for Teacher Mommy).

Our new house is in an awesome location for outdoor explorations. We live in a mountain canyon with a creek in our back yard–what else could two little boys ask for? We will spend plenty of time out in nature exploring and using our senses as we learn about the world around us.

Right up the street from us is a large lake with trails and beaches. Yet another exciting venue to explore in our outdoor classroom.

Since reading books will be a big part of our year, we will also be spending plenty of time at our local library enjoying books together.

I’ve joined a local homeschool co-op that a fellow homeschooling friend of mine is a part of, and we’ll be having weekly park days and field trips throughout the year. Not only will the park days and field trips be fun for us, but they will also give me and the boys an opportunity to connect with our peers. In addition to the co-op, we’ll also be attending MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) or CBS (Community Bible Study) each Wednesday morning, and AWANA on Sunday evenings. We’ll have quite the varied schedule, but I’m sure we’ll never get bored!

I can’t wait to see what this year has in store for us as we embark on this new homeschool adventure together–wish us luck!

Hope on the Day My Baby Would Have Been Born

September 1, 2015September 1, 2015Leave a comment

Today is heavy.

Off an on for the last six months I’ve been dreading today because I knew that today would come, whether I was ready for it or not. That no matter how much I worked to let go and move forward, that today would be a difficult reminder. In fact, this day will come every year, and it will be a reminder.

Today is the day my baby would have been born.

I’ve written a lot on here about my miscarriage and, had that pregnancy continued, today is the day our child would have been born. Instead, where there should be presence there is absence, and where there should be joy there is a touch of sadness. I miss the baby that I never got to meet, and I am reminded so clearly of this fact today.

I’m not sure if the pain of losing a child–even a child who I never got to meet–will ever go away completely. What I do know, however, is that there is hope in the midst of pain. Hope in my past, hope in today, and hope for tomorrow.

Hope in my past because I even though I was not in control over my loss, God was. And He loves this child even more than I do. His hands were the first to hold this child, and he will keep her close to his heart forever and always. His heart breaks along with mine, and He sheds tears in time with mine. The reassurance of His plan and His presence–even in the darkest of days–has given me hope.

There is hope in today because I am made new in Christ. The hurt and loss of my past do not define me–rather, they have caused me to seek Him more thoroughly and grow more closely into the person He created me to be. There is hope today because I have much to be grateful for: a new home, the start of a new school year, a healthy family, silly boys who never let me off my toes–even another baby on the way. There is hope in today because at 5:30 this morning I was awoken by the sweet serenade of “You Are My Sunshine” and butterfly kisses from my 3-year old. There is hope today because today is a beautiful gift that I will only get to enjoy once. I intend to do that.

There is hope for tomorrow because the best is yet to come. Although pain is an inevitable part of life, there will always be another tomorrow. My tomorrow is looking brighter than ever, and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead.

So on this heavy day, my spirit is lightened by the hope that remains.

Today, tomorrow, and for always.

Filling My Love Jar

August 28, 2015Leave a comment

Last week we returned from our Last Hurrah of Summer, a half-month-long road trip where we reconnected with the people and places we love in Washington State. The very next day we loaded up the first batch of boxes into our not-yet-unpacked car from our not-yet-fully-packed house and started moving into our new house. August has been a whirlwind of activity. Busy, crazy, hectic, stressful, exhausting, magnificent activity. And you know what? Everything is just as it should be.

While we were in Washington, we celebrated my mom’s 60th birthday. She was pretty much the cutest birthday girl ever.

I wanted to do something meaningful for her on this monumental milestone, something that might make her cry in front of all of her friends. Awhile back I’d seen an idea for a “love jar” (very few of my great ideas are actually my ideas at all), and I decided to give it a whirl. I sent out requests to all of Mom’s family and friends-who-are-like-family for stories and encouragement they would like to share with her. I wrote out each response and rolled it up like a scroll, then I placed them all in a jar. The result was a vessel overflowing with love.

After this summer I feel like I am the love jar, and I am bursting. Despite the craziness of these last few weeks–perhaps because of the craziness of these last few weeks–my jar is full. Full of joy, full of awe, full of love.

This summer, my jar was filled each time we embarked on a new adventure or saw a loved one who has been separated from us by too much time and distance.

My jar was filled as we spent time with beautiful people in beautiful places.

My jar was filled as my sons, who had only met my maternal grandmother as tiny infants, spent quality time snuggling and playing with their GG (we’re already planning our trip to Phoenix so we can get a repeat on this one!).

My jar was filled when the boys visited Jon’s beloved Granny Doreen and her health seemed to improve with each hug and little boy squeal that filled her home and her heart. IMG_5525 (1)

My jar was filled when we stopped by my paternal grandmother’s house on our drive back home and were able to gather four generations of Schroeders from three states into one photo.

My jar was filled every day that we spent having fun and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation.

My jar was filled when we managed to collect this many tiny children into one house (catching up with their beautiful mommies between moments of intervention was also bliss).

My jar was filled when my children met my friends’ children and became instant best friends themselves.

My jar was filled when my boy challenged me and surprised me with his strength and determination.

My jar was filled this week when we moved into this new house that is the answer to our every prayer (with the selfish exceptions of a lack of cell service and acceptable internet speeds).

My jar is being filled as this new house becomes our home.

My jar will continue to be filled each time we explore together and continue on this crazy adventure called life.

And as this summer comes to a close for all of us, that is my wish for you. That your jar will be filled anew each day and in each season where you find yourself. May your love jar be overflowing: today, tomorrow, and always.

XxX

Announcing Baby #3!

August 6, 2015August 6, 20158 Comments

Baby #3 at 8 weeks

“I waited patiently for the Lord, He turned to me and heard my cry” -Psalm 40:1

For those of you who have been following our story this year, you know that we’ve been in a continuous season of waiting. Over the last 12 months we’ve spent countless hours praying for answers to the questions burning deep in our minds and the desires that hold our hearts. Not least among these has been our prayer for another healthy baby. After over a year of waiting, then a miscarriage, it felt like the baby-waiting might go on forever.

I am thrilled to announce that the wait is finally over: we’re having a baby! Love Bug #3 is due on Valentine’s Day 2016–pretty fitting, if you ask me. Naturally, I am so excited that I’m nearly jumping out of my skin! And, since I’m naturally an over-sharer (clearly– I write a blog), it feels great to finally spill the beans on our Big News. It seems like lately our life has just been one crazy journey after another, and this baby is no exception.

We found out that we were pregnant on June 12th, our 10th wedding anniversary (see, it really is a love baby!). When I saw those double lines on the pregnancy test that meant YES, I literally fell to the floor crying. You know that feeling you have when you want something so bad you can taste it–and then you actually get it? It’s an overwhelming sense of astonishment. It is the realization of grace–of receiving something truly wonderful that you do not deserve. And that’s exactly what this baby is to us–a sign of God’s grace and faithfulness in our lives. After the years of praying and waiting and heartbreak, I needed to feel that grace again in my life. Now that I have, I could not be more grateful.

I am 12 weeks along (nearly out of the 1st trimester!). I’ve already had 3 doctor’s visits and 2 ultrasounds–there is nothing that could ever compare to the first time you see your baby on that little black and white screen and hear the steady thump-a-thump-thump of their tiny heart. So far everything with the baby looks and sounds great–such a relief! Again, we are so very grateful.

In addition to feeling grateful and excited, however, I’ve also been feeling a lot of other Feels. Chief among those Feels, I have been feeling sick. I actually prayed that I would feel this pregnancy from the very beginning so I would know that the baby was doing alright. Be careful what you pray for. Let’s just say I’ve been forming an intimate relationship with my toilet these last few weeks–Toilet and I have spent a lot of quality time together as I crouch over the bowl expelling my breakfast (and lunch and dinner). I have also formed an unusual aversion to those nutrient-packed plants we eat (you know, v_ _ _ _ _ables–I can’t even say the word or it will make me run for Toilet again). Not to worry, though, because I’ve replaced the nutrient-packed plants with cupcakes and ice cream. This is obviously a good choice. Since I never had “morning” sickness with my first two pregnancies, this has been a thrilling new frontier for me to navigate. As one would expect, I’ll be happy to quit exploring soon.

On the flip side, my favorite part of this pregnancy is how deeply loving the boys have been toward their unborn sibling. I have come to realize that when I was pregnant with Jacob, David was still a baby himself. I’m glad I didn’t realize this fact back then, because it probably would have freaked me out. Now that both boys are older (AND POTTY TRAINED!!!) I think we’re all enjoying this experience more.

David (who is, shall we say, not the typically snuggly type) will stop his usual running/jumping/climbing/shennanigan-making, run over to me, slam my tummy, and proceed to smother my navel with kisses and sweet words of adoration for his little sister (he has determined that the baby IS a girl, her name is Violet Woody Buzz Lightyear, and nobody is allowed to voice a word in opposition to these facts.). Jacob has gotten into the habit of saying, completely out of the blue, “I can’t wait to be a big brother!”.

You know what, buddy? We can’t wait, either. Whoever you are, Little One, the whole world is excited to meet you!

12 weeks!

The Gift Registry You ACTUALLY Need For A Baby Boy

July 31, 2015Leave a comment

There must be something in the water, because it seems like everyone I know is having a baby in the next few months. New babies, of course, mean baby showers–the silly games (where else is it socially acceptable to sniff melted candy bars in a diaper or measure your friends’ midsections with satin ribbons?), enough pink and blue to make you think you’re going color blind, the gifts.

The gifts are what really got me thinking. Sure, muslin swaddle blankets and frilly onesies are cute–but are they practical? What are the gifts that a new mom or dad truly need as they set out on this adventure of parenthood?

Well, my friends, I have the answer. In order to survive the first few years of parenthood, there are some practical gifts that would make everything oh-so-much easier. Since my parenting experience is limited to the two boys who call me Mommy, I’ll focus this list specifically on what parents of boys need. Hint: there’s nary a frilly onesie in sight.

1. NO clothes
Truth: little boys are just tiny nudists. Each morning I help my boys get dressed for the day and, by the time I emerge from the kitchen with breakfast, their clothes have inevitably been exchanged for the more-comfortable and oh-so-stylish birthday suits that they prefer. This exchange happens at least three times a day. It’s really a wonder I ever get them to wear clothing at all. My advice: just don’t buy them any clothes. Find some cheap second-hand stuff (that you know they’ll ruin anyway, see #7) and call it a day.

2. A storage unit for all of your nice stuff
What do you have that you consider precious or priceless? What do you have that you’d like to still see in one piece a decade from now? Well, take all of those things and lock them away. Because, honestly, there is nothing that is safe from the havoc of growing boys. Nothing.

3. Excellent Health Insurance
I figure that it’s not a matter of if we’ll ever make a trip to the emergency room for our boys, but when. I carry a first-aid kit in my purse, a larger one in my car, and I have a full arsenal of medical equipment in my home. Boys like to explore and experiment…sometimes that goes well, and often times it does not. Just call it like it is, and sign up for the premium health plan.

4. Empty boxes and garbage bags
I don’t know what it is about boxes and bags, but my boys are obsessed with them. Anytime we get a package, the first thing they do is grab the empty box out of my hands and carry it off to their lair where they proceed to fill it with toys or poke it with crayons or dissect it or whatever else strikes their fancy. The same goes for garbage bags (not the safest toy, I admit, but the lowly garbage bag has afforded me countless hours of peace as the boys fill, then dump, then fill, then dump objects from the bag).
*Bonus points if the box is big enough for the boy to fit inside.

5. Tape and ropes
Again, not the safest toys–but, trust me, it’s only a matter of time before your boys find them and discover their magical properties. So, the tape. It doesn’t matter what kind it is: duct, Scotch, packing, electrical, washi, painters…they’re all equally glorious in a boys’ eyes. Tape is sticky and can be pulled and torn and adhered to various objects/people/pets. Perfection. Rope is nearly as exciting as tape, with the added benefit of being able to pull and swing objects that are tied to it. Plus, they’ll come in handy on those days you just need your kids to PLEASE SIT STILL FOR A MOMENT.

6. Heavy duty cleaning supplies
Now, what mom wouldn’t love to get a basket full of cleaning agents for her baby shower? At a minimum, the boy-mom must have Shout, OxiClean, Spot Shot, and about a dozen gallons of Febreze at the ready. You may also consider gifting her with an industrial-grade carpet shampooer and an incinerator. Also, make sure to include a few sets of rubber gloves that she can stash around her house.

7. In-home trampoline park/ rock climbing gym / high-ropes course/ zipline
Because boy = endless energy

8. A fully-laminated, easy to hose down bathroom complete with a full-wall urinal
See #6

9. Earplugs/ noise-canceling headphones
Because boy = noise

10. Locks
Perhaps the single-most useful object in our house. Locks. We put them on our snack cabinet (because they won’t eat a single meal that I cook, but they have an endless capacity for goldfish crackers and fruit snacks); the front door…and the back door…and, well, just about ever door in our house (because they’re stealthy ninja escapees); our under-sink storage (not because of the potentially-lethal chemicals that are down there, but because they like to steal al of my garbage bags–see #4); their dresser drawers (because their favorite pastime is constructing Mt. Laundry out of the entire contents of their wardrobe); and…you get the picture.

Happy gifting!

Reflections At One Year Post-Ireland

July 24, 2015July 24, 2015Leave a comment

I actually don’t even know where to start this one. Every time I try to write this post I get overly emotional and I can’t get the words out. You’d think that after a year things would get easier, but they don’t. The truth is, I loved Ireland and most everyone and everything in it, and I miss it deeply. Tomorrow marks one year since we left Ireland for our next adventure in California–and what an adventure it has been! Since moving to California we’ve experienced the highest of highs…and the lowest of lows. And the manic-depressive nature of this year has me missing Ireland even more.

On the “high” side, we’ve relished in the daily sunshine–we spend time outside every day, and for the first time in my life I didn’t experience a single day of SAD (if you don’t know what SAD is, then you obviously don’t live in a rain cloud like we used to, so don’t worry about it). We’ve been blessed to reconnect with old friends (you know, the dear friends who you visit wearing sweatpants and messy hair so you can laugh and cry together). We’ve met incredible new friends and neighbors who already feel like family. Jon’s job gives him joy and fulfillment like he’s never had in his career before. We’ve spent countless days exploring the beauty and excitement that surrounds us in the Bay Area. Our children have flourished in their new environment and are truly happy. Life is good.

And, yet. The lows. The lows this year have challenged me to my core. In many ways, this has been one of the most demanding years of my life. We’ve had to make difficult decisions: parenting decisions and financial decisions and housing decisions and school decisions. Seemingly endless decisions. Decisions with long-term repercussions that took some serious thinking and planning and praying. We had a miscarriage which, alone, was the most difficult season I’ve ever walked through. Add onto that the fact that I still feel a bit like a foreigner in this big, new place, and it’s a lot to take in.

This year has made me yearn for a simpler time, like our year in Ireland. I know that I look back at Ireland with rose-colored glasses because, as difficult as this year has been, Ireland had even more challenges. And, yet.

In Ireland we were connected with people so kind and so welcoming, who poured their love into our lives from the first day we met, that a lot of the challenges just seemed to melt away. I’m still searching for “my people” here–the community who you live life with every day, both the highs and the lows, for better or worse.

In Ireland things were, quite simply, more simple. Stores didn’t open until lunchtime, and they closed before dinner (ok, it wasn’t quite that bad, but it wasn’t the everything-you-want-when-you-want-it mentality that we Americans are so accustomed to). It took an hour to drive to a town 10 miles away, because the only way to get there was to drive through your man’s field and about a dozen sheep paddocks. You ordered goods off a CATALOG…using your TELEPHONE. You spent cold rainy nights (which is near enough every night in Ireland) cozied up in a pub with your family, a pint, and some good craic. You paused every day to drink tea. You didn’t hustle and bustle because there was no reason and no place to hustle and bustle to. Ireland was a lot of slowing down and being still. It was good for my soul, and it is the polar opposite of living in the high-paced conundrum that is Silicon Valley. After a year, I find myself yearning again for the simple.

And, yet. Life goes on, and life IS good. Our year in Ireland impacted me profoundly, but so has this first year in California.

In this year I have learned to follow God more closely. There has been little time for complacency, and endless opportunities for seeking His will. All of the decisions and difficult times have drawn me closer to Him than ever before, and I could not have gotten there without facing the challenges that I did this year.

This year has taught me to cherish the relationships I have, and to hold my loved ones both in my hands and in my heart.

I have learned this year to be bold in who I am, even if that is different from the status quo. This has meant learning to block out the other voices so that I can trust my gut and my instincts. I have seen that sometimes the right thing to do is to quit, and it’s usually good to try again. I have learned to be confident in my faith and my foundation, and that is priceless.

This year has taught me to appreciate the special, ordinary moments. Finding my kids snuggled up together in the same bed, sleeping in each others’ arms. Accomplishing a goal–running a race, finishing a long-anticipated project, learning something new, potty training a toddler. Making a favorite recipe from scratch. Calling an old friend at just the right time. Enjoying a cold treat on a hot day. My boys playing happily in the sandbox for over an hour so I can write a blog post in peace 🙂

One year is plenty of time to learn and to yearn–and I’ve done plenty of both this year. Ireland will always keep a piece of my heart but, if this year has taught me anything, it’s that my heart has an endless capacity for growth to make room for the new loves and experiences that come my way.

An Irish Blessing
May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures.
May all life’s passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!

You Know You’re Living In Silicon Valley When…

July 10, 2015July 10, 20152 Comments

In a few weeks we will be celebrating yet another momentous occasion: the one-year anniversary of our move to Silicon Valley! It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a whole year–especially since, in a lot of ways, I still feel like I’m getting my bearings and learning the ropes. Which is understandable, because there are a LOT of new ropes to learn here. It’s difficult to explain, but Silicon Valley is a unique bubble that is truly unlike anywhere else in the world. After living here for nearly a year, I am still baffled by the idiosyncrasies that make Silicon Valley distinct.

You know you’re living in Silicon Valley when…

You and/or your spouse works in high tech, and you moved here for The Job.
Teslas and Ferraris are as common place as Ford Escapes and Toyota Corollas were “back home”.
You have finally accepted the fact that paying $4,000 per month for rent is your new normal.
You can smell if it’s time for the garlic festival when you drive through Gilroy.
Every person you meet is from NOT-Silicon Valley. Your neighbors, friends, and co-workers are recent transplants from some other state/region/country.
You contemplate playing Keeping Up With The Joneses…until you realize that your family just can’t handle weekly Lacrosse games, soccer practices, piano recitals, Physics tutoring, Mandarin classes, performance dance class, and art enrichment. You hope that your poor deprived children will survive to adulthood in one happy, under-achieved piece.
You have a “Brown is the New Green” sign staked in your front yard so passers-by will approve of your golden “drought-conscious” lawn.
You’ve eaten pizza at Mountain Mikes while about 200 little boys wearing Little League uniforms play Pinball in the arcade room.
Go, Giants! Go, Golden State Warriors! Go, Sharks! Go, Earthquakes! Go, (enter name of fanatical sports team)!
Your housing development is located in a former apricot orchard.
You spend the morning hiking in your neighborhood Open Space Preserve, your afternoon sipping vino at a local winery, and your evening lounging at the beach.
You’ve managed to untangle the spiderweb of freeways in your mind so that you can travel a 15-mile stretch on 5 different freeways: When going from Milpitas to Cupertino, simply take the 880 to the 101 to the 280 to the 17 to the 85 right back to 280. Easy-peasy.
When you need a lemon (or a persimmon or a pomegranate or an apricot) you just go pick one off the tree in your backyard.
You spent more on preschool tuition for your 3-year old this year than you did for your undergrad at the state university.
When somebody calls you on FaceTime there are 4 simultaneous rings going off throughout your house: your iPhone, your iPad, your MacBook, and your AppleWatch.
You’re wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops. And it’s February.
If you value personal space and your sanity, you know very well to avoid all public venues on weekends and holidays.
You ❤ BART and CalTrain.
You’re playing with your kids at the neighborhood park and you realize that everybody is speaking another language: The mom pushing her toddler on the swing is rattling off German into her cell phone, the kids playing on the monkey bars are speaking to each other in Spanish, the little girl on the slide is calling for her mom in French, the little boy digging in the sandbox is giving directions to his brother in Mandarin, and the family at the picnic table is conversing in Hindi.
Tesora from Philz is your new best friend.
You have a membership to the local Classic Car Wash. You can’t remember the last time you washed your own car (we’ll just say it’s because you’re being drought-conscious).
You don’t pay for home internet service because your entire city is covered with free WiFi, courtesy of Google.
You used to think an Ivy League education was special.
You are awoken every Tuesday morning by your gardener blowing leaves off your front lawn.
You spend your summers at your local Cabana Club.
Your children–who spent the first part of their lives LIVING IN A RAIN CLOUD–do an ecstatic happy dance whenever the clouds darken and spit out a few drops of precipitation.
You were simultaneously creeped out and riveted by your tour at the Winchester Mystery House.
You have at least one robot in your home (Mommy after 5 PM not included).
Your 1952 Ranch house is worth more than a Manhattan penthouse.
You certainly do NOT have more than 2.1 children.
You freak out every time a motorcycle zips by you between lanes of stalled traffic on the freeway.
You plan outdoor events during winter months.
Your Google Shopping Express order is waiting for you on your front porch in its cute little white box with the blue parachute.
ANTS.
You’ve eaten authentic Dim Sum at least once in the last month.
You compulsively check school scores to determine which neighborhoods you may possibly consider living in.
The fragrance of jasmine and orange blossoms outside your window fills your bedroom while you’re sleeping.
While you curse the crowds and the high cost of living, you can’t imagine ever leaving this unique corner of the globe.

Silicon Valley: I love it, I hate it…and, honestly, I can’t get enough of it. Strange as it may be here, this is our new home. And, for what it’s worth, I think we’ll keep it.

We Love, Teach, Grow

My journey through motherhood

Category: Kids and Parenting