Tag: moms

Moms and Target Starbucks: A Modern Day Love Story

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This Wednesday afternoon while my boys were in gymnastics (as is the case with every Wednesday while my boys are in gymnastics) I popped into Target for a quick look-sie. When I walked in the front door I noticed that the in-store Starbucks they’d been building out since this summer was nearing completion, and upon further investigation I discovered that they were scheduled to open the Starbucks this upcoming Monday.

I snapped a photo of the storefront and posted it to a neighborhood Facebook group, and what happened next was totally unexpected. Within a few hours over 300 people had reacted to my (unexpectedly controversial) post:

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Dozens of people also left comments. The comments ranged from “Why do we need yet another Starbucks in this town?” (Answer: Because Seattle) to “Ermahgahd it’s finally happening!” (Because coffee). As I read through the mostly-comical comments, though, I noticed something: nearly every comment that extolled the virtues of the new Target Starbucks was left by (based on their profile pictures) young moms like myself.

The people who were excited about the Target Starbucks–the ones who were rejoicing with their red shopping carts along with me–were almost exclusively women with children in tow. And then I realized something: Target Starbucks speaks the love language of moms.

 

The reason moms across my town are rejoicing right now is because Target Starbucks fills a void that moms have. And I’m not talking about coffee. Heck, I don’t even drink coffee, and I’m dancing in the streets. No: Target Starbucks meets a need that moms have, and it meets it well. It provides caffeine and comfort at our favorite store. It’s the perfect combination.

Moms are busy. They are overwhelmed. They are crunched for time. This is a fact. And when your life is so full, having something as simple as a hot beverage available at the store you already find yourself in can be life-changing. Holding that warm cup while you wander through aisles of household goods and pantry essentials can feel like a vacation. For some of us moms this is the only vacation we will have for the foreseeable future, and we’ll take it. For those 20 minutes you can step outside the regular hectic-ness of life and stop to smell the coffee beans. It is a breath of fresh air.

You see, Target Starbucks is about so much more than making available an over-priced, over-sugared drink while you shop. It’s about offering actual love, peace and joy. So, Target Starbucks, thank you for being there for me when I need you the most.

Thank you, Target Starbucks, for providing the mid-day caffeine I need to make it through the carpool line and homework and dinner and baths and tooth-brushing wrangles and endless bedtime stories.

Thank you, Target Starbucks, for making my simple shopping trip into a coffee date (even if it’s only a coffee date with myself while I browse Hearth & Hand).

Thank you, Target Starbucks, for offering something delicious and exciting (Hello, Unicorn Frappuccino!) while I pick up diapers and bananas on my way home from swim lessons.

Thank you, Target Starbucks, for consistently changing your cups to match the seasons so I can loosely track the months of the year (You know I need the help. I have totally lost track of years now and I still put down the wrong year every time I write a check).

Thank you, Target Starbucks, for providing the pick-me-up I need at a place where I’m already going so I don’t have to make two stops with three children who are already cranky and mostly uncooperative. Goodness knows I’d be good at herding cats by now.

Thank you, Target Starbucks, for making my favorite store even more favorite-er.

Love,

Moms Everywhere (Especially moms here. We’re really excited you’re finally here!)

 

Parenting Advice I Wish People Had Actually Given Me

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Birth and Coming Home 532Here’s the thing: everyone knows more about parenting than I do. Actually, I think everyone knows more about parenting than anyone else knows about parenting. Which is why there’s so much parenting advice available on the market. It runs the gamut from old wives tales to bogus “facts” (mostly gleaned from internet mommy forums) that will go out the window with the rest of them when the next parenting fad comes into vogue.

The truth is, though, there’s not a lot of advice out there that can hold it’s ground in the real world. I mean, the nitty-gritty tantrum-throwing mess-making real world that includes life with actual children. There were lots of parenting truths that I wish someone would have told me when I started this whole mommy thing a few years ago. Truths like:

1. If you have to do something real quick, like fix your hair or make a phone call, and you think to yourself, “Ah, I’ll just leave the kids out here while I take care of that. I’ll only be 5 minutes. How much trouble could they get into in 5 minutes?”…well, just banish those thoughts from your sweet little head. Because the answer to “How much trouble could they get into…” is FAR MORE TROUBLE THAN YOUR 5 MINUTES OF PEACE ARE WORTH. For instance, they may take an entire tube of blue toothpaste and smear it all over your new couch. Or they may empty all of the drawers out of your kitchen cabinet, stack them in front of the snack closet, and climb up to your candy stash. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

2. You can use a whiteboard marker to remove permanent marker from a whiteboard, and you can use rubbing alcohol to remove whiteboard marker from your walls without removing the paint. Just tuck this one away for the time when your little Picasso goes a bit overboard–it’s already saved my buns on more than one occasion.

3. No matter how kid-friendly your cooking is, no matter how cleverly you work at disguising vegetables, no matter how much love and care you put into the food you prepare–90% of it will end up on the walls or the dog. Even if it’s organic.

4. After you bear children, you will leak out of seemingly every orifice in your body. And, no, it won’t stop after your initial 6-week “postpartum period” expires. Plan accordingly

5. Kids get sick. All the dang time, kids get sick. No matter how often you wash their grimy little hands, whether you are pro-vaccines or anti-vax, if you see a pediatrician or a shaman–it doesn’t matter: your kid will get sick. Just save yourself some grief: stock up on Emergen-C and perfect your recipe for chicken soup. Also, buy one of those disgusting-yet-gratifying baby nasal aspirators.

6. The stage you are in now IS the easy stage. Things don’t magically become simpler when your child gets older and moves on to the next stage. When they can feed themselves, it gets harder (and messier). When they transition out of diapers, it gets harder (and messier). When they LEAVE YOU and spend half a day at preschool, it gets harder (and your mascara gets messier). I can’t even think about what comes next, because I know how much harder and messier it will be. The takeaway: enjoy this moment while you have it.

7. If your child has a lovey (you know, that blanket or stuffed animal or pacifier that they CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT) run out to the store (seriously: RUN. Do not wait too long or your loveys may be out of stock or, worse yet, DISCONTINUED) and buy duplicate loveys. Like, 10 or 20 duplicates might be enough. Stash them in your car, the grandparents’ houses, under your bed, in your earthquake emergency kit, your underwear drawer–whatever. Just get a ton of those things and make sure you never ever EVER lose the only lovey your child has. Just don’t.

8. Forget saving up for your kids’ college funds. Start saving up for preschool as soon as you feel your biological clock start ticking. I mean, seriously, $$fj$$kl;ajdks$$…

9. At some point, you WILL touch poop with your bare hand. When the inevitable happens: be brave, finish what has to be finished, then disinfect All The Stuff like it’s going out of business.

10. Don’t listen to other people. Listen up, now, this is important: You know your child better than anyone else in the whole world. You know them better than that doctor, better than the other moms at playgroup, better than the well-meaning granny at the grocery store, better than the mommy bloggers (but do keep reading, I’m almost done here). You are THE expert in your child. So if something feels right to you, or doesn’t feel right for you– or if something works for you, or doesn’t work for you–then do what your gut and intuition and keen knowledge tell you to do. YOU know your child better than anyone else, and that counts for a lot.

Power on, parents, power on.

XxX Allison

Seattle Mom vs. Silicon Valley Mom

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Photo credit: SeattleTimes.com

Photo credit: SeattleTimes.com

In my nearly-four years of motherhood I have had the unique privilege of “momming” in several cities around the world. And you know what I’ve noticed? Moms, and how they do the whole Mom-Thing, are as distinct as the cities they inhabit. Now I am no expert in sociology, but I do like to secretly judge people based on my biased observations of their behavior. Moms happen to make the perfect target for my not-so-scientific evaluations.

This week I went to my first official Silicon Valley playgroup. It was terrifying and fascinating. The people, the conversations, the baby gear–it was all so new and compelling. But mostly, it was different. So very different from our last gig in Ireland, and so very different from my intro-to-motherhood years in Seattle (in fact, I am finding more differences between Silicon Valley and Seattle than I did between Seattle and Ireland). Here’s the breakdown:

Seattle Mom’s family consists of…her husband (an engineer at Boeing), three kids, and the family dog.
Silicon Valley Mom’s family consists of…her husband (an entrepreneur/tech mogul), two children (and she wouldn’t even DREAM of having more), and her childrens’ au pair who lives in the backyard guesthouse.

Seattle Mom is originally from…somewhere in the greater Puget Sound area. Maybe Sequim or Puyallup.
Silicon Valley Mom is originally from…Not-Silicon-Valley, most likely Not-California, and quite likely Not-America. She can’t fathom how you would pronounce “Sequim” or “Puyallup”.

Seattle Mom spends her day…going to Baby Bootcamp in the morning followed by a park play date. While her baby naps in the afternoon she prepares dinner, using mostly fresh and local ingredients.
Silicon Valley Mom spends her day…managing a tech startup. She uses an app on her iPhone to order food from The French Laundry or Coi so she can pick up dinner on her way home.

Seattle Mom lives in…a split-level home in the suburbs with a nice big yard for their organic vegetable garden.
Silicon Valley Mom lives in…a $1 Million rambler built in the 1950’s (but she’s working with an architect now on design plans to tear down the rambler and rebuild a $2.6 Million “cottage” on the property).

Seattle Mom wears…a Gore Tex jacket over her North Face puffy vest, jeans, and a pair of Chucks or rain boots.
Silicon Valley Mom wears…a fully coordinated Lululemon outfit (from this season), wedge sandals (so you can see her perfectly pedicured toesies), and a Coach purse.

Seattle Mom drives…a minivan (she just traded in her Subaru Outback).
Silicon Valley Mom drives…a Tesla Model S (she just traded in her BMW X6 so she could get the coveted “Clean Air Decal” and use the carpool lane when she’s solo-driving to her Friday morning spin class at Equinox).

Seattle Mom commutes…on I-5. There is no other option.
Silicon Vally Mom commutes…on “The Five”. Or 101. Or 280. Or 880. Or 85. Or 87. Or 17. Or CalTrain. Or BART.

Seattle Mom washes her car…in the rain. Why would you ever wash a car?
Silicon Valley Mom washes her car…at any of the thousands of “hand touch” car washes that line every street everywhere. Her car is washed and detailed at least once a week.

Seattle Mom spends her weekends…taking family bike rides along the Burke-Gilman, shopping at the Ballard Farmer’s Market, and walking her dog at Greenlake.
Silicon Valley Mom spends her weekends…shuttling her children between lacrosse games, karate belt tests, ballet recitals, Chinese school, engineering daycamp, violin lessons and water polo practice.

Seattle Mom’s preschool choice for her children…was based upon which school would nurture her child’s individuality. It’s affordable and there’s a good community of parents at the school.
Silicon Valley Mom’s preschool choice for her children…was already applied for before she left the maternity wing of Stanford Hospital. The preschool is nationally ranked for it’s strong emphasis on the Arts and college prep. There is daily instruction in foreign language and advanced circuit design. The Annual tuition is equivalent to the cost of a new home in Seattle.

Seattle Mom’s grass…is mowed by her, or her husband (if she’s lucky) or the neighbor boy (if she’s really lucky), or by nobody at all (during the months of October-April when the grass doesn’t grow because it’s just too dang cold outside).
Silicon Valley Mom’s grass…is mowed by The Gardener who comes every Tuesday morning like clockwork.

Seattle Mom’s favorite grocery store…Whole Foods and Metropolitan Market (but she actually does most of her shopping in the bulk section at WinCo).
Silicon Valley Mom’s favorite grocery store…Nob Hill Foods and Google Shopping Express.

In regard to weather, Seattle Mom dreams of…the sun. That is all.
In regard to weather, Silicon Valley Mom dreams of…just a touch of rain to get rid of this drought. As long as the rain doesn’t stick around long enough to force her under an umbrella.

Seattle Mom loves…her kids more than anything else in the world.
Silicon Valley Mom loves…her kids more than anything else in the world.

So, differences aside, maybe that’s all that really matters anyway. No matter where we’re from or where we find ourselves, this Mom Thing all boils down to one thing: loving our kids. Rain or shine, here or there, just loving those kids. And that will never change–even if you do decide to trade out your rain boots for some flip flops.

 

The Kids-or-no-Kids Quiz

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When I was a teenager I enjoyed doing the quizzes that came in teen magazines. You know, quizzes that gave you answers to vitally important questions such as “What’s Your Best Prom Perfume?” and “Which Hunger Games District’s Nail Art Should You Try?” (real quizzes from this months’ edition of Seventeen Magazine, by the way). Now that I’m a mom I don’t have time for quizzes or magazines or reading, for that matter. But I still thought that it would be fun to put you to the test. This little quiz will reveal to you in 14 simple questions where you fall on the parenting spectrum. Just keep track of your answers as you go along and tally up the results at the end. I like to call this:

The Kids-or-no-Kids Quiz

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1. For lunch today you:
A) Dined in a classy restaurant with friends while sipping rose’.
B) Ate a nutritious kale and raspberry salad with high-Omega-3 salmon splashed down with a tall glass of milk.
C) Heated up leftover Mac ‘n Cheese…and reheated it 3 times before you had time to finish the bowl.

2. The Pandora radio station you have playing right now is:
A) Nicki Minaj Dance Mix–and you’re twerking when nobody’s watching.
B) Dave Matthews Band–how very grown-up of you.
C) Disney Family Radio–Nothing like a rousing rendition of “M-I-C-K-E-Y” to get you moving.

3. You are currently wearing:
A) Clothing that has the words “dry clean only” printed on the tags.
B) The latest outfit you copied off Pinterest.
C) Your pajamas…and it’s 2:00 in the afternoon.

4. The last time you handled someone else’s pee/poop/puke was:
A) OMG. Gross.
B) I emptied the bucket for my husband the last time he had the flu.
C) I don’t know–this morning? 5 minutes ago? RIGHT NOW.

5. The last time you had a date out with your spouse was:
A) We go out for drinks after work most nights and still make it to the club on the weekends.
B) Friday night.
C) 2012

6. The furniture in your house consists mostly of:
A) Beautiful pieces straight out of the Pottery Barn Catalog.
B) Ikea–affordable and practical.
C) Craigslist and Goodwill finds. The Pottery Barn stuff is in storage for the next 18 years and all of the Ikea crap broke.

7. If I were to look into your purse right now, I’d find:
A) A designer wallet and department store make-up.
B) A coin purse from your trip to Peru last summer and some Chapstick.
C) Baby wipes, a pacifier, 2 boxes of raisins, a used burp cloth, and a clean pair of size 3T underwear in case there’s an accident on your next public outing. But where’s my wallet…

8. Your idea of a vacation is:
A) Traveling to an exotic locale where you stay in one of those bungalows on stilts over pristine blue waters.
B) Somewhere close by–you’re saving up for a down payment on a house.
C) Walking the garbage cans out to the curb by yourself.

9. The best time of the day is:
A) When you leave work.
B) When your spouse gets home from work.
C) The hour or so between the kids’ bedtime and your bedtime.

10. When you see other peoples’ kids throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store you:
A) Roll your eyes and complain to a manager about the disturbance in Aisle 4.
B) Recall the discipline techniques you read about in That Parenting Book and wonder why these parents can’t seem to get it together. At least your future children will know well enough to behave when they’re out in public.
C) Run over to that poor, distressed mother and have a good cry with her.

11. The back seat of your car is:
A) Nonexistent. Why would you need a backseat in a sports car?
B) Empty, except for your yoga mat that you actually use 3-5 times a week.
C) Covered in smooshed raisins and pulverized Cheerios, has about a dozen assorted toys and books strewn about, and a hole in the seat-back where somebody is trying to dig out all of the stuffing.

12. The most important criteria in a restaurant is:
A) A great happy hour with a resident mixologist.
B) Great ambiance and amazing food worthy of a Food Network special.
C) Noisy, fun table-top kids activities, fast service, cheap.

13. The best part of the weekend is:
A) Sleeping in.
B) Sleeping in.
C) Having your spouse with you to share in the misery of not sleeping in.

14. The best thing you’ve ever heard is:
A) News that you just got that promotion at work.
B) That you’re pregnant!
C) Your child saying “I love you”.

Mostly A’s: No kids, no way
Kids are a far thought from your life. They’re loud, they’re messy, they’re inconvenient, they’re expensive. Pass. Enjoy your freedom while you have it, because chances are that it won’t last for long.

Mostly B’s: Dreaming of babies
You’re saving up money while cutting back your hours at work to see how you can make everything work on a tighter budget. You exercise and eat all of the right foods for a healthy womb. You chart your ovulation. You secretly read baby name books and watch A Baby Story on TLC. You are full of hope and optimism. Bring on the babies!

Mostly C’s: In the trenches of parenthood
Your family consists of at least one mini-me. You wake up most mornings feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck and the coffee can’t make itself fast enough. Your kids are loud, they’re messy, they’re inconvenient, they’re expensive. And, yet, you wouldn’t trade your life or your kids for anything.  You know that parenting is not clean or easy or in any way glamorous. Sometimes it’s not even fun. But it’s a job full of joy and love, and that makes it all worth it.

If You Give A Mom A Mocha: A Parody

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One of our favorite activities is going to the library. We go almost every week and come home with bags brimming with new books to read together. On our most recent trip to the library (one that involved an overly-tired, screaming at the top of his lungs baby and a potty-training 2-year old with diarrhea) we got a version of the classic If You Give A Mouse A Cookie by Laura Numeroff. David loved If You Give A Dog A Donut so much that we decided to bring home another called If You Give A Pig A Party. The books all follow a basic pattern–if you give (some animal) a (treat) they’ll ask for a (something to go with the treat). That “something” will remind them of something else, and they go on a silly adventure finding the things they are reminded of.

I thought it would be fun to write my own version of the If You Give A…. books. And, since I’m a mom, I’m going to write about what’s nearest and dearest to a mother’s heart: coffee.

If You Give A Mom A Mocha

saltedcarmelmochaIf you give a mom a Mocha, she’s going to want a cardboard sleeve for her hot cup.
The cardboard sleeve will remind her that today is recycling day, so she’ll rush home to put the recycling bins out by the curb.
As she’s moving the recycling bins to the curb, she’ll notice an empty diaper box in the bin. She’ll want to go to Costco so she can buy more diapers before the baby runs out.
While she’s at Costco buying diapers, she’ll pass by the food court. The pizza will smell delicious.
She’ll want a slice of ooey-gooey pizza. And, since the kids are already whining for lunch, she’ll decide to stop and get some.
After she eats the pizza, she’ll remember that her “lose the baby weight diet” doesn’t involve noshing on pizza.
She’ll go home and change into her running shoes and load the kids into the jogging stroller for a little post-pizza workout. It will take about an hour to get everyone ready and out the door.
When she gets about a block away from home, her 2-year old will say that he has to go potty.
She’ll run back home to the potty as fast as her legs can carry her. As she’s pulling back into the driveway, her 2-year old will say that he doesn’t have to go potty anymore.
She’ll take him out of the stroller and see why he doesn’t have to go anymore.
She’ll take off his wet pants, socks, and shoes and sit him on the potty anyway.
Then she’ll hose off the stroller and leave it in the driveway until she can come up with a better cleaning solution.
When she gets back inside from hosing off the stroller, she’ll see that the 2-year old has gotten into the pantry. He’s dumped a whole bag of Cheerios onto the floor and the dog and the baby are licking them up.
She’ll get out the vacuum to clean up the Cheerios. The vacuum will remind her of how disgusting the rest of the floors in her house are, so she’ll vacuum the other rooms while she’s at it.
While she’s vacuuming she’ll vacuum up a stray sock.
The sock will remind her that she promised her kids to make sock puppets with them this week.
She’ll get out all of the craft supplies and help the little ones make new toys out of their old socks.
Once they have sock puppets, the kiddos will want to put on a puppet show.
She’ll get out an old cardboard box to make a stage for the puppets to perform on.
When she sees the cardboard box, she’ll be reminded of the cardboard sleeve that they put on coffee cups.
Once she starts thinking about coffee, she’ll want a mocha. And you know what? I think she’ll deserve one!