A Mother’s Job Description

May 10, 20131 Comment

I have two sweet boys, ages 2 and 9 months, who are (almost) my whole world. I love them like nothing else and being a mom is the most crazy-awesome job I’ve ever had. And by crazy-awesome, I mean that it’s both crazy and awesome. Motherhood is the best “job” I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. In honor of Mother’s Day this weekend I thought I would put out a little job description here for any of you who may be interested in taking on this role yourself.

Title:
Mother (also known as “Mom”, “Mama”, “Mommy”)

Term Of Contract:
Until you die.

Salary:
None. Unless you count heavenly rewards, in which case they are infinite and eternal.

Working Hours:
Depends on how much your children like to sleep. On average, you can expect your day to start at about 6:30 AM and conclude by 8:30 PM. However, you will continue to be on-call throughout the night and if you have a child under the age of 1 you can expect at least two periods of active duty between the hours of 9:00 PM and 6:00 AM. Work is required 7 days per week, 365 days per year. There is no vacation time or sick leave built in to your role, so please just don’t get sick. Ever.

Desired Qualities and Skills:
Seeking a loving, nurturing, compassionate individual. Must be able to tolerate sounds up to 500 decibels (approximately the same loudness of a train whistle) for prolonged periods of time. Applicants should have a strong familiarity with all children’s programming on PBS and Nickelodeon (if you can sing the theme songs to “Blue’s Clues”, “Sesame Street”, “Dora The Explorer”, and “Bob The Builder” then you’re on the right track). Ability to speak and understand a foreign language (i.e. “Baby Sign” or “Toddler-ese”) is highly desired. You must be able to operate at full-capacity on 5 hours of sleep per night, and you should be able act cheery when your darlings wake you up at 4:30 AM. Applicants should be high-energy and ready to conquer the world. Applicants should possess an immense amount of patience (this will come in handy for cases of your childrens’ whining, complaining, crying for no reason, and tattle-taleing. It will also be helpful when you are cleaning up spilled milk and Cheerios for the 100th time in a day.). Backgrounds and training in the following are strongly desired: Teaching, Cooking, Laundry Services (especially stain removal), Taxi Driving, Juggling/Balancing Acts, Pastoral and Counseling Services, Crowd Management, CPR, first aid/first-responder, EMT, Brain Surgery, Rocket Science.

Job Description and Duties To Perform:
There is a 9-month training period in which you will receive little- to no-preparation for the job you are actually beginning. Your hands-on duties will begin at about week 40 of the training regimen. Your duties will initially include feeding, bathing, changing diapers, dressing, snuggling and spying on your adorable child while he’s sleeping. As your child grows, you will be required to attend to additional responsibilities. These responsibilities include, but are not limited to: teaching, guiding, disciplining, encouraging, helping, supporting coaching, respecting, protecting, scheduling, talking with and listening to, hugging, laughing, and loving your child.

Benefits:
Butterfly kisses, a full heart, a happy disposition and a rewarding life. And love. Lots and lots of love.

How I Trick My Kids Into Doing What I Want Them To Do

March 22, 2013March 22, 2013Leave a comment

I have this fantasy that some day I’ll wake up and my kids will just do what I ask them to do. Happily. Without running away or throwing an angry screaming fit about it (You want me to stop what I’m doing and wash my hands before lunch?! These sweaty sticky hands?! These grimy little hands that are busy throwing a basketball into my hoop for the 10,000th time today?! How dare you!!!). But, until that day, I’ll just trick them into obedience. Here are some of my favorite ways to throw them off guard just enough to make them do what I want them to do.

Deception:
When I’m brushing David’s teeth or helping him floss I’ll say something along the lines of, “I bet I can open my mouth bigger than you!” or “Can you roar like a lion?” or “Can you make your mouth as big as a wide-mouthed frog?”. Then, when he’s got his mouth gaping open, I’ll rush in with the toothbrush and get the deed done.

Reverse Psychology:
“You can’t smile for the camera. Don’t do it! Noooooooo! Don’t you dare smile!”. And he smiles.

Say What?
When David is getting too loud my first inclination is usually to get louder. But what actually works better is a whisper. I’ll start whispering random things to him in an “excited whisper”–like what I’m saying is really important. He usually catches on after a few seconds and starts trying to listen to what I’m saying. The cutest thing is that when I’m whispering he always responds in a whisper, too. Now we’re having a whisper conversation instead of a shouting match!

Give them “choices”:
“Do you want broccoli or green beans with your dinner?” versus “Do you want vegetables with your dinner tonight?” (because, duh, no they do not want vegetables with their dinner tonight–but that doesn’t change the fact that they will get vegetables with their dinner tonight).

Make it a game:
When we have a particularly messy house (OK, we have a particularly messy house by about 4:00 every day) we’ll play “secret scrap” (or, in David’s case, “secret ball”). I’ll find a secret item that he has to find and put away, and if he does he gets a prize (usually a sticker or a hand stamp).
*Note: I don’t actually have a secret item in mind when we start the game. I just wait until I’m satisfied that things have been cleaned up and I tell him that the last thing he put away was the secret scrap.

Distraction:
The other day David was having a temper tantrum in the car (this happens quite often–you know, if I don’t sing the correct song or I don’t sing it in the correct way or I quit singing songs or I sing them too loudly or…). I just shouted over the top of his protests “Look! A schoolbus! What color is that light over there? Hold your breath through the tunnel (really just a freeway overpass). How many square signs can you find?”–and I just kept going until he started answering my questions. Then he wanted me to ask more questions. So I did. And he answered them. Temper tantrum: over.

Competition:
David doesn’t have any older siblings and Jacob is still too young to be any competition yet. But David has an older cousin who he looks up to and adores. And sometimes I use that to my advantage: “Guess what? Cousin Noah uses a spoon and fork at the dinner table. He doesn’t even throw food when he’s at the table! In fact, I happen to know that cousin Noah keeps his face and shirt clean when he’s eating!”. Now David wants to use a spoon and a fork better than Cousin Noah and keep his face and his shirt cleaner.

Encourage them to exert their independence:
David is two-and-a-half, so feeling like a “big kid” is kind of a “big deal” these days. I’ll say things to him like, “Wow! You’re such a big boy now–I bet you can even help do the Velcro on your shoes like a big boy!”. And, you know what, usually he can.

Now, these are some handy little tricks of the trade, but they do not work 100% of the time. Even with those odds, though, I’ll take any help I can get!

10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Had My First Baby

March 15, 2013March 15, 20133 Comments

I have a lot of friends who have either recently had their first baby or are pregnant right now. When I was pregnant with my first baby, I read every pregnancy and newborn book I could get my hands on. I wanted to know what this whole baby thing would be like when it actually happened. Now, 2 babies later, I am still learning about motherhood. Every. Single. Day. Only now it’s not from a book: it’s from the trenches.

Despite my best intentions to learn all that I could before I had my babies, there’s just so much more that I’ve learned from my on-the-job training than I ever could have gotten out of a book or a manual (if there were such a thing). I’ve learned a few valuable lessons along the way–tricks of the trade, if you will. Here are a few things I wish I would have known about before I had my first baby.

1. Let go of your plans/hopes/desires/dreams for your baby’s birth.

This photo is from my first son’s birth. You may notice that I’m lying on an operating table. That was so not the plan. I went into both of my births planning on having natural childbirth experiences with no drugs and minimal interventions. For our first child, I planned an out-of-hospital birth with midwives–I didn’t even want a doctor in the room! Long story short, I’ve had two emergency C-Sections. I’m 0-for-2 in the “having birth go your way” department. But here’s the thing: it’s OK. I had a really hard time dealing with my first C-Section–I felt like my body had failed me in this most basic function. Then I realized that my baby’s birth was not in my control. I did everything I could to get him out safely and, in the end, that meant we had to cut him out at a moment’s notice. And he was perfect and healthy and wonderful. Even though things didn’t go how I would have liked them to go, they went how they needed to go. With our second birth I let go of a lot of my expectations and, even though the outcome ended up being the same (BUMMER!) I was fine with it. Even though the birth itself wasn’t all that different, my attitude about it was–and that made a world of difference! When it comes to babies being born, expect the unexpected. Hold your plans in an open hand, not a closed fist, and be willing to go with the flow.

2. Having a baby doesn’t have to break the bank.
It’s true: having a baby is expensive. Really expensive. But there is hope! There are lots of great ways to save money on baby expenses.

The first thing I would suggest all moms do is sign up for Amazon Mom. It’s a great program run through Amazon.com that gives you free 2-day shipping on everything you buy on Amazon, plus it gives you discounts on baby essentials. It’s free to sign up and it saves you trips to the store (which, for a new mom, is as good as money in her pocket!).
You can also try your hand at couponing to save money on diapers and wipes. I was pretty diligent about couponing with my first baby and we saved about 50% on diapers that way. If you want to learn the ropes, there are some great tutorials online that can show you how to get the most bang for your buck (or clip?).
Take advantage of free/cheap resources and activities in your community–library story times, parks, community play areas (I love the Shoreline “indoor playground” for all of you Seattleites), beaches, hikes, farms, public swimming pools, and outdoor concerts to name a few.
Make your own baby food (see my post for making your own baby rice cereal here).
Only buy what you need. You could spend a LOT of money on baby gear, but you really don’t need all of it. See my list of the essentials and my favorite products for more details.

3. “You can do anything, but you shouldn’t do everything”.
I saw this quote recently, and it rang really true with me. Choose what you want to focus on, and go for it–but don’t expect that you’ll be able to do everything that you want to do. In fact, you probably won’t even be able to do everything that you need to do once your baby arrives! Don’t try to be Super-Mom who does everything has it all together all the time–even moms who look like they have it all together really don’t. And that’s fine. That’s called being a mom. If you have piles of dirty laundry, a dish full of sinks, and a child crying at your feet as you’re making dinner, that’s normal. Do the best you can with each day, and call it good.

Along with this, know that it’s OK (no, necessary) to have help sometimes. Allow your friends, family, and community to help with meals, cleaning, babysitting–whatever you need that will free you up to focus on adjusting to life with your new baby. Once you have a baby, you’ll know where that phrase “it takes a village…” came from!

4. It’s OK to put a crying baby down.

Whenever my first baby would cry, I did whatever I could to make him happy–right away. I had this weird feeling of abandonment if I heard him crying and wasn’t instantly there to soothe him. But then, one day, I couldn’t get to him right away–and he was fine! In fact, he calmed down on his own, went back to sleep, and didn’t seem bothered in the least. Then I realized, it’s OK to let baby be on his own a bit. Now, with 2 little ones, I’ve learned that it’s actually necessary to put down a crying baby sometimes–and he’s always just fine. An added perk: baby will learn how to calm down and entertain himself if you aren’t doting on him every moment of every day–a valuable life lesson, indeed! If you need to put down your baby so you can go to the bathroom or even take a quick shower, he’ll survive the 5 minute interlude. You both might even enjoy it!

5. Choose the advice you’ll take
It never ceases to amaze me how every living, breathing person has advice on child-rearing. People with babies, people without babies, old people, young people, you name it–they all seem to know the only right way to do things with a baby. And they’ll tell you. Especially if you’re doing it wrong. I have found that the best response is usually just to smile, say “Thank you”, and then keep doing what you were doing.
As this baby’s parent, you know them better than anyone else. You know what they like, what drives them crazy, how they respond to different situations, even what bodily functions they’ve performed in the last 24 hours. You are your own baby’s expert. So, even when you get good advice from someone else, check it against what you–your baby’s expert–knows about your baby. What’s worked for someone else and their baby may not work for you.

6. Laugh at yourself
You will have days as a parent that just make you want to cry. Or scream. Or throw a good old-fashioned temper tantrum. And, sometimes, that’s OK. We all need to cry and scream and throw a fit every now and then. But you can also choose to just laugh at the situation and say “oh well, these crazy kids have done it again!”.

For instance: The other day I was trying to cook dinner and my boys both decided this would be a great time to test Mom. With a pot boiling over on the stove, the baby started screaming. When I picked him up, I noticed that he had poop squishing all the way up his back and out the neck of his onesie. I ran upstairs to change him and when I came back downstairs, my 2 year old had flung half of the contents of his rice box (a sensory activity) across the floor. I could have cried or yelled or run away to a nice quiet closet, but I just had to laugh at myself and the “situation” that is my life. This is my lot now, and it’s actually kinda funny. Three years ago, I never would have imagined that this is how a typical Thursday afternoon would look for me. But it is, and I embrace it! If I don’t laugh at myself every so often I could end up resenting the way things are, and I never want that to happen. So bring on the messy, the loud, the annoying, the embarrassing: I will just laugh at you!

7. Sleep. And don’t expect to feel rested for the next 20 years.

You’ve heard it before: sleep when the baby sleeps. That worked for the first few weeks for me, but then I realized that “when the baby sleeps” happened to be the only time I could take a shower or eat a meal or pay the bills. Rest is still really important, though. I’m not good at taking naps during the day, but I can usually fall asleep pretty quickly at night time. As a result, I have to be pretty diligent about setting a bedtime for myself each night and sticking to it–even if I really want to stay up late doing important things like watching TV or checking my friends’ status updates on Facebook. But the sad reality is that even if you do go to bed on time and try to take naps when the baby’s sleeping, you’ll probably never really feel rested as long as there are people who call you “Mom” or “Dad” living under your roof. Kids are exhausting and you’ll probably never get enough rest to make up for the energy output they require. Oh well, can’t blame a girl for trying!

8. Document important information and events.
When your baby rolls over for the first time, or gets her first tooth, or says his first word, it feels like the most earth-shattering event. You know that you’ll remember it forever! But you won’t. My oldest son is only 2 1/2, and I already can’t remember a single stat or milestone from his babyhood. Maybe I just have a terrible memory, or maybe my brain is just a pile of mush after chasing two little boys around every day, but the fact remains that I just don’t remember those all-important details.
Do whatever works for you to record your child’s life. Some people like hanging a calendar by baby’s changing table so they can write interesting little facts about baby for each day of their first year. You could buy a baby memory book from the store, jot notes down in a notebook, or even pull out your smart phone (yes, there’s an app for that).

9. Avoid burn out: take time for yourself.

It’s easy for a mom to get sucked in to the 24/7 nature of parenting. But if you don’t take a little break every now and then, you might just break! Exercise. Get Grandma and Grandpa to come over and watch the baby so you can go out on a date with your husband. Grab some girlfriends and get a pedicure on the weekend while Daddy is playing with Baby. Hire a babysitter and go to a coffee shop so you can lose yourself in a good book for an hour. Maybe even train for a half-marathon on the weekends (see photo above. Bonus: you get an extra member of the cheering section when baby comes to watch your race!). If you need to, schedule these “breaks” into your schedule (and make sure your husband has them in his calendar, too!). I have found that when I take good care of myself, I’m able to take better care of everyone else.

10. Be present and enjoy the ride.
Parenting can be very challenging, demanding, draining. It’s tempting to check out with a smartphone or your laptop while the kids run around at your feet. But blink, and you’ll wonder where the time has gone. Trust me, you won’t want to miss those moments–no matter how mundane or trying they seem in the moment.

Most days I go to bed and think, “What did I do today?”. When I see the list of things that didn’t get done and the piles of things that need to be dealt with it can be a bit disheartening. But the reality is, I did a lot today. I snuggled my babies, I kissed a boo-boo, I cleaned up poo-poo (I cleaned up lots of poo-poo). I read some stories, I played make-believe, I disciplined, I prayed, I disciplined some more. I ran through a park, I bathed tiny bodies, I sang lullabies, I said “I love you!”. I did a lot today–and I want to savor every moment of it.

20 Things I Do That I Never Thought I Would Do (Now That I’m A Mom)

January 25, 2013April 24, 20138 Comments

Motherhood has changed me, for better or worse! A lot has changed in my life since becoming a mom. For instance, before becoming a mom I never thought I would:

photograph poop.
share photos of poop with my friends and family.
eat Mac and Cheese for lunch 5 straight days in a row.
get dressed in the morning–almost EVERY morning–by changing out of black yoga pants (my P.J’s) into black yoga pants (my “outfit”).
count a solo trip to the grocery store as “me time”.
choose a restaurant based on the following criteria: noise level (the louder the better), food selection (chicken nuggets must be on the menu), and whether the high chairs have properly functioning restraint devices.
own 57 balls (and counting…).
actually look forward to dentist visits (one of the only times I get to be by myself, lay in a *relatively* comfy chair and zone out for an hour).
get poop or spit-up on my clothes and debate whether it’s really worth changing my outfit.
spend my few-and-far-between date nights talking about the very children I left just a moment ago.
enjoy folding laundry–sometimes (baby clothes are so cute!).
use plastic party cups to scoop poop out of the tub (in another life those held a nice, cold adult beverage).
schedule my showers like I used to schedule hair appointments–phone calls and calendar entries required.
get a song stuck in my head only to realize it’s the made-up tune played by the baby bouncer or the jumperoo.
forget to shut the bathroom door when guests are in my house.
let the dog lick of the baby’s face after a meal.
wake up to the baby’s cries, get dressed for the day and walk out of my room only to realize that it’s 3 AM
flash an innocent bystander when the baby suddenly rips the nursing cover off of his face.
know every. single. word. in the “Birthday Party” episode of Blue’s Clues.

And, finally–

20. love two tiny people with a love so big that I would give my very life for them.

School Skills For Babies and Toddlers, Part 4: Science

January 17, 2013May 13, 2013Leave a comment

Babies and toddlers are natural explorers and experimenters. Everything in their world is new to them and requires further investigation. Science, then, comes quite naturally to young children. Here are some ways I help guide my kids in their scientific discoveries!

Make Observations

Note properties of objects in your baby’s world: the size, shape, color, feel, smell, taste (when appropriate. Which, for a baby, happens to be all the time) and sound it makes. For instance, when you’re feeding ducks at the duck pond you can say, “See the duck in the pond? It’s a small brown duck. It makes a quacking sound. Feel a feather. It’s soft and shiny.”
Compare objects and their properties- Which slide in the park is bigger? Which snack tastes saltier, the cracker or the grape? What shape is the cover of the book we just read? Which is softer, your blanket or the baby wipes case?
When you’re at the park, on a walk, or even in your living room just stop and make observations. What sounds can you hear (a bird, an airplane, the dishwasher)? How does it feel (warm, hot, cold)? What can you smell (a flower, fresh-cut grass, dinner cooking in the oven)?
Play peek-a-boo: your baby will be observing you like crazy!
Describe your food: “See this grape. It’s green and round like an oval. It’s smooth and shiny. Let’s taste it. Yum! It’s sweet and juicy, even a bit tart.”
Point out “same” and “different”: “See these two toys? They are both the same because they’re both blue and can fit in my hand. They’re different because this one bounces and this one makes a rattling sound when I shake it.”
Turn off all the lights when it’s getting dark out and play with flashlights. See if your little one can find objects with his light. Or, you hold the light and shine it over the floor–have your little one chase the light (toddlers really are a lot like puppies!)

Explore Cause and Effect

Build a block tower (or soup can tower) and knock it down. Then build it back up and knock it down again. Repeat.
Play “Sink or Float”- Get a tub of water (or play in the bath tub). One by one, drop objects into the water to see if they sink or float. For your older toddler, you can have them make a prediction of sink or float before you put the object in the water
When your child does something naughty (what, YOUR little angel be naughty?) explain–in not too many words–the effect of their actions. When you hit, it hurts. When you throw your food, it makes a mess. When you scream that high-pitched whiny scream at the top of your lungs from the back seat of the car, it makes Mommy veer off the road. Then let your little rebel help make restitution for their “effects” (here’s a rag to clean up the mashed bananas in the carpet, Sweetie).
Note what happens when you blow air into a balloon. If your baby doesn’t startle too easily, let them see what happens when you KEEP blowing into the balloon (POP!).

Experiment and Investigate

Kids naturally want to explore their surroundings. Set up safe boundaries to allow your child to explore on their own or with your guidance. And don’t worry if your toddler gets dirty–they can always take a bath!

Cook with your kids
Play in the dirt, a sand box, or a mud puddle
Make predictions- What do you think will happen if we put this cup of yogurt in the freezer during your nap? (Then eat the frozen yogurt for a snack when he wakes up!)
Make a “sensory box”- fill a plastic bin with sand, dry rice or beans (*Note* small beans can be a choking hazard for the little guys, so use your discretion here). Put some small cups, spoons, or even excavator toys in the bin for digging around.
If your baby wants to see what it feels like to smear pureed carrots through her hair, let her give it a go. If your toddler wants to help dress himself in mismatched boots and backward sweat pants, let him. Young children learn by doing, even if it’s something we’d rather they not be doing. As long as they’re safe, there’s no harm in letting them experiment.
Put baby in a backpack and go for a good ‘ol nature walk. Point out the plants, animals, sights, and sounds around you.
Explore static- Rub a balloon on your hair and watch it stand up
Explore friction- Rub your baby with her towel to warm up after a bath

Weather and Temperature

Talk about the weather when you look outside in the morning, are driving in the car, or are playing in the park. Play meteorologist for your baby and name the weather: sunny, cloudy, foggy, snowy, rainy (or, if you’re from Seattle, you can use the fancy rain words: drizzly, showers, downpour, sprinkles, misty, monsoon).
Talk about day and night, morning and afternoon- note how it gets dark and night and light during the day. The sun (or, in Seattle, the light clouds) come out in the day and the moon comes out at night.
Notice temperature changes- it’s warm inside and cold outside (at least where I’m from. If you’re lucky, you live in a place where it’s cool inside and hot outside. Can you tell it’s winter in Seattle right now?)

Know Your Body

Sing and “play” “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”–point out the body parts on your baby as you sing or have your toddler point them out on himself.
Lay your baby on her back and gently touch a body part and say what it is. Repeat 3-4 times before moving on to another body part: “Where is your chin? There’s your chin! There’s your chin! There’s your chin!”
Use proper names when talking about your child’s body parts. You might feel weird saying the proper name instead of some other cutesy word, but it’s important for kids to learn the correct vocabulary.
Read body books- As you’re reading, have your child find the body parts that are in the book. One of my favorites is “Here Are My Hands” by Bill Martin Jr.

Have fun exploring with your baby–you will probably both learn a lot in the process!

School Skills For Babies and Toddlers, Part 2: Literacy

January 15, 2013May 13, 20131 Comment

My first topic for this exploration into school skills for babies and toddlers will be literacy (reading and writing). This is probably the biggest area of instruction in early elementary school, so we’ll start here. You can do any of these things with your baby or toddler. Even if they can’t tell you what they’re learning, trust me, they’re soaking it all in!

Early Reading Skills:

Read- I’ve mentioned this before, but reading is so very important. Make it a priority, and a habit, to read with your kids every single day. For us, this means we have an “official” story time before nap time and Bible story time before bed. We also read at various points throughout the day, but this way I know we have a set time every day when reading will definitely happen. If you establish good reading habits (and good reading memories) early on, it will be a lot easier for your kid to keep up those habits in school.
**One other thing here. As you’re reading to your child, read slowly and with a lot of expression. Give your baby time to process what you’re doing. Also, repetition is key. Children love hearing the same stories over and over and over and over again–and it research shows that repetition helps young children learn and retain information. So indulge your little guy in reading “Goodnight, Moon” for the 5,000th time this week.
Talk about “concepts of print”- As you’re reading, point out different concepts in the book: the title, the cover of the book, the author (“the person who wrote the wonderful words”), the illustrator (“the person who drew the beautiful pictures”), where the sentence begins and ends (talk about different forms of punctuation–“Wow, see that little dot after this word? That’s called a period. A period is like a stop sign for readers.”), the author’s note at the end of the book. This may seem really silly to do all of this with a baby or a young toddler, but they’ll start to get it and they’ll start to become familiar with the language you’re using (so always use the proper names: author, illustrator, etc. and then explain them as necessary).
Point out details in the story- Rather than just reading the words on the page and calling it a day, take time to elaborate on the story on each page. Point out details in the illustrations, ask questions about what’s happened so far, and see what your child thinks will happen next.

Early Phonics Skills
Phonics basically deals with letters and sounds. Here are some things you can do with your budding linguist:

Find letters- Find letters and words in your world (on food packaging, road signs, the side of a bus, etc.) and point them out. It’s fun for young kids to see how letters and words are all around them!
Teach letter sounds- Letters are a confusing concept for young children, especially in the English language where our letters make so many different sounds. At a very young age, it’s best to not even teach the letter “names” (A, B, C, etc.). Rather, focus on the sound each letter makes. For instance, when you see the letter A, say, “this letter says /a/ like apple, alligator, animal.” After all, when it comes time to read, your kid’s going to need to know the sound of the letter, not it’s name, in order to read a word.
I told David that all letters make sounds, just like animals make sounds. We learned the names of the letters and the special sounds that they each made, then we even sing about the letter sounds in a song to the tune of “Old McDonald”. For instance, I’ll hold up the letter A (we have a foam set of letters that we play with in the bath tub) and sing: “Old McDonald had a word, e-i-e-i-o. And in that word there was a letter, e-i-e-i-o. With an /a/ /a/ here, and an /a/ /a/ there, here an /a/, there an /a/, everywhere an /a/, /a/. Old McDonald had a word, e-i-e-i-o.
Find sounds- Say a sound, and see how many things you can find that begin with that sound. You can even make a “sound box” where you put all of the things that begin with that sound into a box. Making things concrete will help your young child to learn the skill.
Practice rhyming- Find rhyming words in the stories you’re reading or things you see (“You’re wearing a blue shoe today. Blue, shoe. Those words rhyme!”). There are lots of fun nursery rhymes and songs that have rhyming words, too (“Hickory Dickory, Dock”, “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, “Jack and Jill”, “Down By the Bay”, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”).
Sing- Singing is a great way to develop your baby’s language skills. You can sing about things you’re doing (you can make up the song as you’re going. It can be ridiculous, off-tune, and not make any sense. Your baby will love it). You can sing while you’re doing things–I like singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” during diaper changes. I use my fingers to go up the water spout (up baby’s legs), make the rain come down (tickle baby’s tummy), wash the spider out (rub baby’s tummy), and have the sun come out (trace a circle around baby’s face). You can also sing to teach (like when you sing the “ABC song”).

Early Writing Skills
Young children lack the fine motor skills to physically hold a pencil and write. There’s a lot you can do now, though, to help get them ready.

Writing with fingers- Give your kid a chance to practice writing and drawing with something they don’t have to hold on to–their own fingers! Just get a large surface–a high chair tray, table, or a cookie sheet–and cover it with something they can write in. Some of my favorites are shaving cream, finger paints, pudding and whipped cream (just make sure if your baby is still in the puts-everything-in-his-mouth-regardless-of-it’s-level-of-toxicity stage that you give him something edible to play in). If you don’t like messes, put a bit of the “painting material” in a large ziploc bag and duct tape the edges. Your kid can still paint through the bag mess-free.
Pinching practice- One of the greatest hurdles to writing for young children is the simple fact that their bodies are not physically able to do it. Holding and controlling a pencil is a specific fine motor skill that takes time to develop. Pinching practice can help get those little fingers ready to grasp a pencil. We play a “pincher pick-up” game where I give David a set of tongs and a bunch of little things for him to try to pick up with them (small toys, crafting pom-pom’s, large buttons and beads). He still uses two hands on the pinchers most of the time, but he’s already able to control them a lot more than when we first started playing. A variation on this game is to play in a rice table (to make your own rice table, just fill a large bucket or rubbermaid bin with rice or uncooked beans). Bury the toys in the rice and let your kiddo dig around with the pinchers to find them.
Playing with clay and dough- Get those little finger muscles strong by letting your kids play with play dough and clay (clay is harder to use, so wait until they’re a bit older for this one). You can make your own play dough or even let them play with bread dough or pizza dough if you’re concerned they will eat it.
Hand-eye coordination–This is an important foundation to develop for both reading and writing. With a baby, have him practice grasping at toys that you dangle in front of him or reaching for toys that you shake on the floor. For older tots, you can play catching games with “slow” objects like scarves or balloons. You can even make a parachute out of a bed sheet and put soft objects on it to watch as you shake the sheet up and down (get another grown up to help hold the sheet, or invite your friends over for a play date and play parachute together).One of my favorite baby parachute games is “popcorn”. I fill up old socks or nylons with cotton balls, fabric scraps, etc. and tie them off into “popcorn kernels”. Then we make imaginary popcorn: lay out our pan (the sheet), pour our popcorn kernels (the sock balls) into the pan, add whatever flavorings we want (just shake our hands over the “pan” adding chocolate, salt, sprinkles, and cheese…yummmmm….), and then we hold opposite sides of the “pan” and give our popcorn a good shake until all of our popcorn balls invariably pop out of the pan. Repeat until you’re all good and full of popcorn.

School Skills For Babies and Toddlers Part 1: Introduction

January 14, 2013May 13, 20132 Comments

Back in the days before I had babies, I was a teacher. I got to enlighten the young minds of America for 6 hours a day, 180 days a year. Now that I’m a full-time mom, I’m not in the classroom anymore. It has become quite obvious, however, that I am still a teacher. Only now, I’m in teacher-mode 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with my own kids–no Christmas break or summer vacation, no sick days or off-site training days. Oh, yeah. And I don’t get paid any more. And I wouldn’t change a thing about it!

It is one of the greatest privileges and responsibilities I have as a mom: to be my childrens’ first teacher. And, whether or not they know it, this is every parent’s role. Our children are always learning, and so every little thing we say or do is teaching them something. Babies and young children are like little learning sponges who soak up this wide new world they have entered. And, as the big people in these little people’s lives, we get to share in that with them.

Kids are never too young to start learning, so why not start teaching them? I thought it would be fun to do a series of posts about how I incorporate learning into our days. I don’t do anything formal or “academic” (c’mon, my oldest kid is only 2!) but I do try to teach them at every possible opportunity. For young children, play is serious business. When I “teach” my baby and toddler, then, most of it is done while we’re playing together or through little songs and games that we play.

Since I used to teach Kindergarten and first grade, I know a lot about what kinds of skills kids need to be familiar with before they enter school. I’m certainly not an expert on this matter– not by a long shot!–but there are lots of things I do every day that will help my kids be better prepared for the school years that lay in their (not-so) distant futures. And if you have young children I bet you’re already doing a lot of these things, too! I’ll do a post each day this week covering a different topic: literacy, math, science, and social/emotional skills. So, read on this week to find out how great of a parent you already are and maybe get a few ideas for some fun new things to try!

Why Having 2 Kids Isn't As Hard As Everyone Says

January 4, 20132 Comments

When I was pregnant with Jacob I had a lot of people tell me: “Watch out! Having two kids isn’t just twice as much work…it’s more like ten times as much work!”. Now, granted, I’ve only had two kids for 5 months now, but it’s really not as hard as everyone said it would be. In fact, I’d say that having 2 kids is not even twice as much work as having 1.

When I was teaching, I had up to 22 kids under my care for 6+ hours a day. So, having only 2 kids that I love unconditionally feels like a pretty sweet deal (plus, they both still take naps. That helps). In both the school and the home scenario, though, the only way I’m able to manage kids is through a simple formula of routine, organization, and discipline.

On Routines
We have routines for everything in our day: wake up time, meal time, getting dressed, getting shoes and coats on when we have to leave the house, nap time, clean up, bath time, bed time. We have David so well trained now that all I have to say is “it’s time for snack and story” and he cleans up all of his toys and goes to sit on the couch to wait for his snack. This allows me to get his snack ready while he’s cleaning up, and it means we have no battles over how this part of our day should go. We’ve practiced it a gazillion times and he just knows what to do and what to expect. The funny thing is, if we ever stray from our routine David gets really upset and tells us the “correct” way to do it!

On Organization
Organization is a huge help when you have kids. Having children is like living in the middle of a tornado–everything and everyone seem to be in a constant state of upheaval.

One of the most important parts of my personal organization is our schedule. I keep a fairly strict yet flexible schedule. What I mean by that is that we have a set plan for how each day in the week goes, but we adjust what that looks like as needed. For instance, Jacob can still nap in his carseat if we’re out and about during the day. I know, however, that when he’s older and won’t sleep in his carseat any more, I’ll have to be home for his naps and we’ll have to adjust our schedule to accommodate his new needs.

I also sit down every Sunday and fill out a weekly calendar that includes our activities, chores I need to do, errands that need to be run, our dinner menu, and even when I’ll exercise.

My weekly schedule

I write my schedule out on a magnetic whiteboard and I stick it on the front of my fridge. I like this method because it doesn’t require me pulling up an app on my phone and Jon can see it just as easily as I can. Plus, the teacher in me still likes writing on white boards. Having and keeping to a schedule allows your routines to be more effective because everyone knows what to expect each day.

Built into my schedule are things like dinner prep. I always prep dinner during the boys’ nap so that when it’s actually time to make dinner everything’s ready and I can just throw it in the pan (or, even better, it’s already in the crock pot or roasting in the oven and all I have to do is take it out to eat it). Really, if there’s anything I can do ahead of time to make my time with the boys go easier, I do it.

On Discipline
I’m not going to get too into this subject right now, because that could really be a whole series of posts on its own. And, admittedly, discipline is one of my weakest areas as a mother. But, I do know how important it is and I work at it every day. Here’s how discipline relates to my theme of managing the kids, though. Kids NEED boundaries. When the kids know what is expected of them, they tend to live up to those expectations. When kids know there are consistent consequences to their actions, they learn how better to control their behavior. By me not spending 4 hours a day chasing wild banshees through my house (OK, that actually IS how most days are…) I can focus on more important tasks. We can move through our day more quickly, with more sanity, and have more time for the fun stuff when behavior is (mostly) in check.

So, that’s it. Having kids IS tough. I’ll never deny that. But with a little preparation and consistency, your job can be a whole lot easier!

"It Worked For Me": Peterson Style

January 4, 20132 Comments

I got a lot of good feedback on my last post about baby stuff, so I thought I’d try to do a few follow-up posts on general parenting tips that we’ve picked up or developed in our 2 glorious years with offspring.

Now that I’m a parent, I like reading parenting magazines that give me advice on how to handle the two little tornadoes of energy that are under my care. One of my favorite columns to read is called “It Worked For Me” in Parent’s Magazine. People basically just write in to tell about little tips and tricks that they use with their kids. Some of the ideas are really amazing–simple little things that make life so much easier.

Mostly out of desperation, Jon and I have developed our own little repertoire of “It Worked For Me” solutions to our every day problems. Here are a few:

Water Stopper

David trying–unsuccessfully–to get water out of the fridge

David loves using the water dispenser in our fridge. The problem is that he usually likes using it as a means to create his own slip-n-slide on our kitchen floor. Or to give the dog a shower. Or just to see how much water will come out before an adult notices his exploits. You get the idea.
Jon, being the clever engineer that he is, came up with a simple solution to our water dispenser woes. Now we just keep a clean, dry sponge wedged between the back of the dispenser and the push-lever. With a little effort, an adult can still press the lever against the sponge and get water out. No matter how hard he tries, though, David can’t get the lever to push in enough to release the water. I don’t know how long this will continue to work for us, but hopefully by the time David develops the strength to push in the lever all the way he’ll also understand the word “no” and all of it’s consequences a bit better!
Easier Pancakes
A “pancake stick” for David

We like having a lazy family breakfast most Saturday mornings, so that usually means we’re making pancakes. In order to get the pancakes from griddle to plate as quickly as possible we do a couple of things. First, we mix the batter in an 8-cup pyrex measuring cup. It’s easy to pour the pancakes with the pour spout and it means we only have 1 dish to clean at the end of the day. Then, we like to make “pancake sticks” for David (another idea of Jon’s). That way when the pancake is ready to be cut up into little pieces for David we can just snip, snip, snip down the “stick” with our kitchen shears and it’s ready to go. Sometimes we also like to make fun shapes out of the pancake batter for David. To do this, we use a squeeze bottle to just squirt the shapes out onto the griddle (we’ve even used a clean, empty ketchup container as the squeeze bottle and it worked just fine).

Video Stories
Jon has the type of job that, at certain times, requires him to spend a lot of time away from our family. He has to pull some late nights and do some traveling. We always have story time before naptime and bedtime where Jon and I read to the boys. I like the boys to be able to have Jon read them their stories even when he’s away, so before he left for his last work trip we recorded him reading several of David’s favorite stories using my iPhone. I transferred the videos to my computer, and also kept them on my phone for on-the-go viewing. Now we can watch Daddy reading stories no matter where he is in the world. Plus, the stories are a great distraction while we’re driving or waiting for our food to arrive at a restaurant. Just flip on my phone, start the video, and we have a happy toddler!

Gift Closet
I have a lot of friends and family members with kids now. It seems like every other weekend we have a birthday party, baby shower, or holiday to celebrate that requires some sort of gift. Since it takes a long time to go out shopping for each individual gift, and because all of those lovely gifts can start to put a dent in your wallet, I’ve started my own little “gift closet”. It’s not actually a closet, it’s just the top shelf in my own bedroom closet, but saying I have a “gift shelf” just doesn’t have the same ring as the “gift closet”. Anyway, I digress. The gift closet is just a place where I put gifts as I find them. I like to shop online deal sites like Zulily, Kids Woot!, Plum District, Mamasource and Totsy. You can get all kinds of things on the deal sites: clothes (for both baby and mom), toys, shoes, nursery accessories, strollers, even baby food and diapers. When a really good deal comes up (like when free shipping is being offered or there are deep discounts on my favorite items), I’ll buy one or two items to add to my gift closet. I also shop stores like Target during their clearance times (typically January and July) when they’re trying to off-load all of their seasonal toys and clothes for up to 75% off. At any given time I have between 5-10 items in my gift closet that would be suitable gifts for babies or young children. Then, when those baby showers and birthday party invites start arriving I know that I can just “shop” in my gift closet. I save myself a trip to the store and I’ve already saved time and money (now that I have 2 kids to tote along with me everywhere I go, I avoid physical stores like the plague. I hate going into stores. But that’s for another post.).

Monthly Baby Photos

David at 1 week old

David at 6 months old

David at 1 year old

One of my favorite things that we did with each of our boys was our monthly photo. Starting at birth, we take a photo of each boy each month until their first birthday. For David, we did all of our photos with a sock monkey. It was incredible to see how he went from a tiny infant smaller than the monkey to a big boy who could hold the monkey up for the photo on his first birthday! Jacob’s photos are a bit different. We’re posing him on top of a large paper calendar each month and circling his monthly “birthdays” on the calendar.

Jacob at 1 week

Jacob at 5 months

We have a lot of fun going back through the photos to see how our babies have grown. For David’s photos, I plan on continuing to take a photo of him with the sock monkey each year until he moves out on his own or until he is big enough to fight me off when I thrust the stuffed animal at him for yet another photo session. For Jacob’s calendar photos, I may have him continue holding the calendar for important events as he gets older (birthdays, first days of school, etc.).

Custom Books
I get lots of coupon codes for custom photo books from companies like Shutterly and Mixbook. I love making photo books to document family events, but lately I’ve also been making my own picture books for the boys. I just use our photos and I write a story to place in the text box on each page. The last two books I made were “David’s Busy Day” (based on one of David’s favorite picture books, “Lulu’s Busy Day”) and “My Funny Family’s Feelings” (each page is a different family member expressing some feeling–i.e. excited, surprised, sad, etc.). I can usually get a custom hard-cover picture book shipped to my door for about $10. These are some of David’s absolute favorite books because, like all of us, he’s a bit narcissistic and loves seeing himself.

Home-made photo books
Clothing boxes
I keep large plastic bins in my kids’ closets. I have one bin per size (newborn, 3 month, 6 month…and on up to 3T). Whenever they grow out of a piece of clothing, I put it straight into the appropriate bin. Whenever we receive clothing that is not a size the kids are currently wearing I put that right into the size-bin as well. That way, whenever I need clothes for the next size up I just grab the bin and unload it into the kids’ drawers. Yay for hand-me-downs!

Toddler Thank-Yous
David is only 2, so he’s not quite at the age where he can write his own thank-you notes. I happened to have some of his modernistic crayon drawings and finger paintings lying around, so I decided to turn them into thank-yous. I just wrote a note on top of the artwork with a Sharpie marker and David scribbled his “name” at the bottom. So much more personal than a store-bought card, and a good use for the countless creations David generates.

Parents are ever-resourceful, and I’d love to hear some of your favorite tips and tricks. Feel free to leave a comment with your clever ideas!

We Love, Teach, Grow

My journey through motherhood

Tag: parenting